A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hiya. I recently decided to end it with my bf but now he is going out with a close friend of mine. I am finding it really hard to see them together. We are in the same group of friends which makes it even more difficult. Whenever i think about them being together it makes me really sad and it hurts.My close friend is really happy with him and i am trying to be happy for her but i am finding it incredibly difficult. She is always very happy and i feel she is rubbing it in my face which has led me to have very negatvie feelings towards her of hatred. What can i do to ease the pain? Is it normal to feel this upset..do u think it means i still have feelings for him or just want what i cant have?! Help!!!!
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (26 June 2007):
 Just because you ended it does not mean you don't still care about him and yes i can see that with your friend being with him thats going to hurt even more.
These fellings will pass and the only thing i can suggest is maybe just for a bit you try and distance yourself from them abit and give yourself time to get over this and accept them as a couple.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, RebeccaT +, writes (26 June 2007):
It is normal to feel upset.Its a bit like that with my bf cause hes over the net i will never know if hes goin out with someone else!If your friends a real friend you should be able to talk to her and tell her not to say things that might remeind you of the time youve had together.Tell her that your right by her side but you still havnt got over the fact that your brocken up and that it hurts you for her to be bragging about it.It will take you some time due to the conciquences to get oner him but in time you will get used to it.Hope i have been help to you.Please send me a message and tell me what you think ad if my acvice worked as it did for me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): I think you are very brave and seem to be handling this in a very dignified way. I, unfortunately have never been in your difficult predicament and I think its very difficult for your friendship to not suffer in some way as a result. She may be a close friend, but if you are feeling "hateful", which I kind of understand, perhaps you mean resentful ? hateful is quite strong !!, but then you finished the relationship right ? Obviously you werent happy with the way it was ? I dont know the details obviously...... I think therefore you either need to "save face" with the situation and deal with it, as you made your choice to end it or the alternative thing to do is distance yourself from the situation. I know you perhaps feel you shouldnt have to change your social activities etc to avoid seeing them, but if it is upsetting you so much to see them, I would perhaps stay away a bit - do it gradually, so as not to look too obvious :-) and focus on going other places with other friends. Do you really want him back ? / have feelings for him or do you think, (sorry to ask this) that you just dont want anyone else to be happy with him because things didnt work out for you ?? I think it would be good to maintain your dignity and stay in touch with them, dont let on to her or him that the situation is bothering you, afterall, you made your decision !!! even if you are dying inside and keep your conversations with her away from talking about him and what they've been doing. After many relationships myself and observing what has happened with so many others i can only say that being jealous is not perceived as being a likable trait and will only make you look bad, just rise above it, situations like this will test you, but ultimately you become a stronger person as a result ! If you have made the wrong decision and you regret losing him, all I can say is, although it's an old cliche, is that if you and he are meant to be together in future it will have a way of working out and that doesnt mean that you have to go all out and try and get him back ! However, also with the benefit of experience I would also say that normally your intuition is right, if you finished with him, there must have been good reasons and something didnt feel right. I would now move on and focus your energy into feeling good about yourself, going and doing some things for you and getting out there to meet new people, you never know who or what is round the corner !!! :-) See this as a new start and be positive about your future !
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A
female
reader, FoxyR  +, writes (26 June 2007):
 hey,
It is normal to be pissed. As you have the same friends, you should try to see from her point of view and talk to her. Tell her you feel like shes rubbing it in your face. When you feel insecure seeing them together, just think that maybe they're happy together. Always wish well to your friends cause it can bite you in the ass after.
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