A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in the wrong for talking to my married coworker as a friend? Hello aunts I want to preference that I would never commit adultery - simply I don’t want the karma and believe in it .Long story short the colleague that hired me is 44 I’m 32 we started talking - I would always worry about Work and he would reassure me. We have the same personality so we started talking and I started confiding (talking about my problems etc) It’s been two years and we still talk on the phone about issues he will check in twice a month and we’ll talk on google etc sometimes We never talk about anything sexual/explicit sometimes he’ll make a joke here or two but it’s mostly about life and strugglesI have never seen him again and I don’t find him attractive - sometimes it’s nice to confide into someoene but that the only attractive thingAm I wrong? For talking to him ? I honestly have no hidden intentions - and I don’t like him sexually - even if I did I would not pursue him since a married man is married for a reason
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 April 2018):
 If the friendship was with a woman would you be asking the same question? I am not sure what you are worried about. You have no feelings or you are not attracted to him, or are you worried that he has feelings for you? Or is he simply just being a friend?
A
female
reader, thedimestorepoet  +, writes (17 April 2018):
I don't think there is anything wrong with speaking to someone in the way you have described. But I agree with the other aunts in that it's hard to better help when we don't know your reasoning for asking.
Did somebody say something about it?
Has something changed?
It sounds like a normal dynamic and not that anyone is overstepping any boundaries. I think unless you are feeling uncomfortable about it or its proceeding somewhere theres no issue.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2018): What you described seem very normal.
Why are you questioning it? Did something happen?
Don't over think things. What you have is a very normal friendship and colleague who you kept in touch with over the years.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (16 April 2018):
 On the surface it seems your colleague is acting in the capacity of a mentor at work ... what has happened to make you question this now?
Did he make unwanted sexual overtures or did his jokes get more serious and "unfunny?
Has somebody else questioned the relationship, a new partner or a work mate?
If you can let us know what has prompted you to question the relationship we might be able to help further.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2018): It seems to me that he is, at least to an extent, taking advantage of the fact that you are colleagues and converse every once in a while. Even if he makes these sexual comments jokingly and infrequently, I think he's being disrespectful and selfish. He is in a committed relationship, after all. And he is a grown man. He should know better.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 April 2018):
 What is the reason you are asking?
If this friendship has been going on for 2 years, what has happened that bring you to question it?
Is his wife not happy with it?
Have you ever met her?
I'm curious and would love the additional info before answering.
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