A
female
age
30-35,
*sitworthit16
writes:I really need big time help. I am in love with my manager who is 12 years older than me. When I first got the job this june i thought he was around 19 or 20 and he showed great interest in me thinking that i was at least 18 years old although i was 16. After awhile a mutual friend told me that the guy was madly in love with me and i told her that i really liked him as well and we started from there. we got off really well and then i found out that he was 28, 12 years my senior and we both agreed that age didnt matter. we have been together for almost 3 months and he told me he loved me and we are planning our future together and he doesnt even mention sex and when i do he told me to wait untill im 18. my feelings for him are really strong and i know that he wont hurt me but im not sure if its right for me to be with him due to the age gap.p.s. he was previously married and has one daughter who is 3 and one other that he adopted that is 5. but they live with the ex wife.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): Some crucial issues you got to get to know,
-Why really did he divorce his ex while he had child from her?
-What kind of girl is that mutual friend? Is she the type one can expect to be a discreet relationship broker? Or she is just some unscrupulous gal who does any favor for a friend?
-What feature in you does he exactly fancy? What is the most important reason he wants to be with you?
Besides, you didn't mention you have told your parents or anyone in charge of you about that. You should inform someone else and let your bf know you have some wise guy who supervises your relation (without your secrets being disclosed). No matter how sincere, sane and caring he is, like any human being he is fallible and if you don't implicate a senior you dramatically raise the risk. So if you really love him and your relation do it for his own good.
Best of Luck
A
female
reader, isitworthit16 +, writes (19 October 2009):
isitworthit16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand to just add on to his behavior; he is amazingly nice and very honest and really respectful and treats me like I'm a baby meaning his really careful. He also talks with me at night for good 2 to 3 hours and the conversations never get dull. As to the friends and credibility- his friends have all told me that his a great guy and comes from a well respected family and he has had his job for 8 years which is very credible to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): you are only 16. having a relationship with a divorced man of 28 is not appropriate right now. yes his intentions may be good now but believe me, once a man is used to having sex he will soon expect it. it is just a matter of timing. you are a mere babe still, enjoy what is left of your youth. there is still so much of time to meet a man and develop a relationship. once the youth years is over, there is no going back. then the shitty adult stuff start. this man will have expectations all in the name of love. it starts slowly, then gentle love pressure, then then then until you have sex with him.
you are right to be concerned but whether you realise what i am telling you is up to you. how do i know about the so called love sex expectation. i am 7 years younger than my hb, i was 19 when we started going out. he had sex previously and it was not long before the experimenting started. there is always an expectation of sex to seal the love deal! don't fall into this trap. good for you that you are thinking about the age gap.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): It could be genuine love if he dont mention sex. I can shut my eyes to the age gap but not to you beeing only 16.
Yes, there are so many things that you can understand. But you still lack some higher understandings which can help you observe this issue from different aspects. And don't forget you are in love and may let important things unnoticed.
My suggestion: gather information about his credibility and common sense by asking his colleagues looking into his past records and job status. If he has been responsible and stable and didnt have a record of jumping quite often from one branch to another in is works and studies and if he is someone his previous friends know as trustworthy, you are in a good chance you will be having an exceptional love and life with him (because in that case he hasn't chosen you just on illusion or for mere pleasure but for you urself, ur attitude, your interests, ur kind heart and even ur dark side)
AND, take time. Continue ur discreet relationship with him until you get to know him better and more importantly you mature. BEWARE, even if everything went rose you should give urself more time to see those things you only have to have more experience to be able to see.
And never drop a chance to consult experienced people.
Bests
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