A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:okay i have an issue i could really use some help with. i have been very close friends with a man for several years. back before we were all divorced, he and his wife, and me and my husband all lived together. we are godparents to each others children. i see him all the time. he is the best friend i could ever ask for, and we have been through so much together. my problem is that i am completely in love with him. i'm afraid to tell him for fear that he'll never talk to me again. i don't know if he has any feelings for me beyond friendship or not. everyone we know thinks that we would be great for each other, and we do things all the time as a "family" with our children. the only thing we don't do is touch is other in any romantic way. due to circumstances with each of our exes, i could see why he may not want to say anything if he does. so should i tell him and take a big risk, or keep my mouth shut and not chance losing the best guy in the world?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Go for it.
Men and women are not meant to be friends long term, as the sexual tension always come into play (unless one of them is gay).
At some point, you would likely meet another man, he would meet another woman, and thus your friendship is timed to end anyways (do you really think your new partners are going to go for this group thing, being so closely linked to your exs? I don't)
What I would suggest is that you don't "talk" to him about it. Spend some alone time with him, turn on some music, slow dance together, and let the kiss happen more naturally. This isn't a "think and discuss" thing...it is an emotion-thing.
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 If you love him that much could you really cope with just being friends with him and holding back how you really feel about him.
What if he was to meet someone else and you have never said anything you could miss out on something that could potenially be great.
Some times you need to take a chance in life, and if he is really that much of a good friend, if you say something and he does not feel the same then it should not change your friendship.
Take care.xx.
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