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male
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*art48
writes: I need adviceI have a girlfriend who has a love in Cuba during her vacations there (4 times) I came into the picture a year ago. I have fallen in love with her during that time. But she continues to communicate with this person via email and phone. I know that he asked her to marry him and gave her a ring with she accepted. But she will not ware it here at home. She tells me that I am over reacting, but I know she lies to me about her contact with him; she has gone as far As faking an email address to try and fool me. She even told me that she told him about me, but it was to quick an answer for me to accept. I have given her so many chances to come clean with me, even as I type this note I know she will be calling him and she will not tell me, even after she told me she would. Should I tell him about what is happening on this side of the world? He knows nothing about me and she told that she told him all about me. Should I warn him? Kart48
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (2 August 2006):
 It does look as if she is keeping her options open and stringing the two of you along. Why are you interested in a woman who already has a serious relationship anyway?? She says he knows all about you - so call her bluff and drop him an e-mail, as he is serious about this girl, and deserves to know what she is up to. It will hurt him, but he really needs to know - the sooner the better! If he DOES know about you, then it is obvious either that he is up for an 'open' relationship, or regards you as just one of her platonic friends. This woman is cheating on both of you and obviously does not care who gets hurt in the fall-out.. I would look elsewhere for someone who deserves your love..Good luck - I would be more than happy to help you should you wish to discuss this further, so please feel free to send me a private e-mail - as it can be so difficult to keep track of the threads on here!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006): hell yeah you should warn him! sounds like this girls getting the best of both worlds here. she's got you wrapped around her little finger, and she's got this other guy who's so far away, he doesn't know anything about her 'other' life. i mean, if he bought her a ring, that sounds pretty serious to me, and he deserves to know. that, and you deserve better than that. i think you should tell this other man, and then leave her. that way, she winds up with nothing.
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