A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in an awful mentally, abusive relationship. I am very unhappy and really want to be out of it. I really don't know where to turn to or how to get out of this hell hole I am in. I have asked my boyfriend to leave but he won't, he keeps saying we need to work on our relationship more, for me to get over his cheating ways. I cant leave, as this is my home and i have a young child to care for. How do I end this horrible relationship once and for all and how do I gain back some of the self esteem he has taken away?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would like to thank every one of you for taking the time and reading my question. I have taken on board what was said and tonight i asked him to leave. He is!!! Luckily the house is rented and in only my name and i am going to take all methods needed to keep him out of my life for good. Thank you so much
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): You have had some brilliant advice and taken a big step already. To learn more I have found this website incredibly helpful at times and I hope it helps you - particularly in the months following www.hiddenhurt.co.uk
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): This is a delicate situation but I believe you can get through this. You should understand he is a sick man who surely grew up watching how his father/stepdad abused his mother and he thinks this is normal. That's why he keeps saying you two can work this thing out. I'm sure you also grew up in a dysfunctional family and that's where you became desensitized (sorry if that's not correctly written) and the reason for not being able to get out of this relationship on time.
The most important thing now is for you to get out of there As soon as possible. Use the techniques the other agony aunts gave you. Maybe you can start sending your things to family through mail so when you leave you wouldn't have so much to carry with you. If he is cheating he has to spend a lot of time out of the house, so use that time to plan everything.
Check if in your country there's a hot line or some kind of support for domestic violence victims so you would feel a little bit more supported while doing this.
I assure you once you get out of there you'll start healing. A great way to do so is to assist to a good christian evangelical church. There you'll meet new people who will support you as a family. I did so seven nyears ago when I had a major problem in my life and it changed my perspective of my life and myself for the better.
Blessings.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): Babes, a lot depends on who owns the house and whether it is privately rented, owned or rented by from the government. Please update your post, with more details people will be able to give you better advice. Your British, if you live in Government housing, then contact your local council and explain the issue to them.... Please contact any one of the women's groups we have in Britain. They can help you with all types of things, including getting this guy out, or moving you and the kids. You've been very brave to come here and share your story, your even braver for making the decision that you are unhappy and you want change.
Contact Women's aid, http://www.womensaid.org.uk/ on 0808 2000 247, they can provide all the information you need. If you need to leave secretly, then take the advice that has already been given by some of the aunts. Many women have left and survived and learnt to enter happy, safe relationships and so can you. You owe it to yourself and you owe it to your kids. Well done you, your a strong and resourcefull woman, everything will be ok.
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