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male
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anonymous
writes: hi my name is ben and my question is I have been very happily married for 6 years and have known my wife for 8 years and we have a son together, but in the past month I have noticed that I have developed feelings for another women, she is madly in love with me and says I am the only guy she will ever love for the rest of her life, my question is that are my feelings for her genuine or are they because it is something new for me and this has never ever happened before, I mean I am logical enough to believe that if I went on a chat site that if I said the right things and heard the right things i would think that I was falling in love with that person, but in this case I put my original music on worldwide community music site, i did not plan at all to have someone fall in love with me and me developing feelings for that person, but everytime we hear eachother's voices, are hearts both beat so fast and we also think about eachother all the time and can't wait to hear from eachother, it is tearing me up inside, because I still love my wife but then why can't I stop thinking about this person and I do understand that this kind of mussy feelings disapear with time, but then why can't we stop thinking about eachother, is it because it is new. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, terrbear  +, writes (23 August 2009):
Ok I can understand what your going through but Its not right to talk to another woman without your wife knowing and she is happy because she doesn't know, that is kinda cheating. my situation Is: I have 2 adorable kids I love and I love my husband to death we get along but I keep thinking about this other guy I liked a long time ago and he liked me toohe keeps running through my head and I keep telling myself I wish I had the chance to tell him how i felt i was really shy back then and i never did get to tell him and one day he left but then pop up somewhere else and I havent to be at the same place I thought it was a sign but then as time went by i forgot about it now that Im married he goes through my head his cute face but I have never cheated once on my husband we have always been faithful i dont know
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): Listen really carefully. It's natural in the course of marriage to develop feelings for someone else. It's life. However, before acting on them, consider this:
What if your wife was the one with feelings for another man. What if she was contemplating running off to another man's bed and another man's hands and lips? What if she were whispering and crying out the things to him in the heat of passion that only you should hear?
How would you feel? Because I guarantee, whatever is mundane and boring about your marriage to your wife, you are more than half the problem, and you have to take yourself with you into an affair. The illicit nature doesn't last forever, and then you'll have a son who's hurt by what you've done.
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female
reader, i no how u feel  +, writes (11 June 2006):
I can tell you know that the only reason you feel this way is because its new. Remember how you felt about your wife when you first got together. Theres always passion at the beginning of a relationship, and over time that passion fades. You can't go and find a new partner everytime you need a bit of fun. Do you honestly think that if you leave your wife for this other women that the passion won't fade and you'll get tired of her in a few years? then what you'll fall for another women? Get as far as possible from this women and never have contact with her again. Is she worth losing your loving wife and son over? You owe your wife your loyalty. Go to your wife and tell her right now that she is the love of your life. Show her everyday for the rest of your life that she is the only one.
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (10 June 2006):
 Hello Ben, I can sort of understand what you are feeling but let me tell you this, I thought that switching off feelings was virtually impossible but listen to me, I had these incredible feelings for a married man, my word they were beyond my usual reasoning but the fact is, he is married, he has kids. Me and him could NEVER be, I dont want to be a homewrecker and I am certainly not deceitful. You are just going to have to keep away from her, I mean you dont need to avoid her like the plague but we as humans are unique creatures. The more time you spend with someone, the more your feelings grow, you will either grow to love or hate someone simply by how much time you spend with them. If you are HAPPILY married, this other woman should not even be causing issues in your marriages, I mean how can she say that she wont love anyone else but you? Is she God and can she see the future picture? No way. Dont let this ruin your marriage, its not worth it, marriage is honourable, be happy with your wife. xXx
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female
reader, autie emmie +, writes (10 June 2006):
well it could be because some-one has told you that they love and because yes it is new, and you heart could be beating fast as its a new friend in your life and that there voice is some what new, but try to think in your head who do you see your self with in your future is it your wife and son ?or is it your new friend ?but these fellings will go away in time yes but until then think more carefully about your actions and what you say to your friend but also try and think about why you feel that way about this friend is it because its been awhile since someone new said that they love you ?or is it because you have never been as close to anyone other than your wife before but please think about your actions and who will be there for your son?but i dont mean to say is stay with your wife just to raise your son because that will cause much more damage to you and your families life but please think carefully i hope i've been of some what use to youall my wishes anutie emmie x
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