A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,Am I wrong to have such uneasy feelings about the man who claims he wants to marry me. To make a long story short, we set a date, he told me to take care of all the arrangements, so I start to do so, even ordered my dress, there are certain things that need to be done well in advance. The problem is certain things have happened to make me feel he is so devious, and I am so hurt by what has happened that I don't know which way to turn. To just name a few issues.1 Flew home to visit his family and make arrangements, upon arriving back to my home, his sister called not hours after landing to tell me someone else is getting married on my date, and that I would have to change it, she stated months down the road.2 Same woman cancelled my wedding, told me that Jim has to attend schooling during that time. He was challenging a test not going to school, and not during that time.3 With her doing these things, Jim not once stood up for me against her behavior, I'm so hurt, and he knows this.There is more but I can not help that he hasn't played apart in all this too.
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 hi
unfortunately i have to agree with dr john, you cant marry this man until you are sure that his behaviour is not intended. give yourself time to think about this before you set another date. remember you dont have to go through wedding arrangements all by yourself its his wedding too and he should get involved and if he is quite about his other commitments or family commitments you have a reason to doubt his loyalty towards you. sort this out before you get married because if its ignored it will grow bigger than a mountain ones you are married. good luck
A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (10 February 2007):
 Please! Please! Do not marry this guy until you are completely comfortable with him and the things he does. You should be able to trust him completly. If you cannot trust him now how will it be when he doesn't have to keep you impressed because he feels you now belong to him. Don't get me wrong, he may indeed have these issues to deal with. Just make sure. I live in the Tulsa Oklahoma (USA)area where the divorce rate is very high. One website is quoted as saying the following: February 4, 2006 -- Tulsa County Marriages struggle to keep ahead of divorce decrees according to a survey by Oklahoma State Department of Health, as reported by the Oklahoma State Courts Network. In 2004 marriage license applications outnumbered divorce decrees issued by only 538. http://www.emediawire.com/releases/2006/2/emw341408.htm In so many cases people are not well enough informed about one another and they think that these problems will go away once they are married. WRONG!! They get worse. Maybe all it will take is for you to get to know him better yet. Take the time and save your marriage before it comes not when it is too late. Hope it goes well. Doc.
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