A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 34 year old nurse who divorced her husband just last year. Over the past couple of months, I have been trying to re-enter the dating scene. I joined a dating site and went on a couple of dull dates. Then, almost three weeks ago, I finally went out with a man who I felt I could really connect with. We seemed to have all the same interests, we come from the same state and we both claimed to be divorced. We went out loads of times. He was always quite the charmer and in the end, we slept together. When I woke up the following morning, he was gone and so was my TV, a whole batch of electrical equipment and my furniture. Actually, I'd been robbed blind. Naturally I was shocked but this incident has made me reluctant to date again. How am I supposed to trust men ever again when this one was after sex and everything but the kitchen sink?
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 You must be a very heavy sleeper.
I can't blame you that this incident has destroyed your trust in men, if not people in general. Unfortunately, what you've encountered is a criminal running a con game. If someone mugs you in the street, you're just an anonymous victim. But when the person works his way into your affections with the objective of robbing you blind, the result is more than just a loss of property.
I can only suggest that you keep in mind that most people are decent. Don't be put off by one crim. And be careful in future.
A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (28 April 2008):
I would say that dating men that advertise themselves on dating sites is not a good way to meet the right man - I have come to the conclusion also that those who need to to meet people this way are desperate as for any woman who does the same. When I divorced I tried those sites - WASTE OF TIME for sure - The best way is to meet thru friends and family and simply have a smile and open your eyes when out and about - Save your money and your time and be safe - Just as you found out many have ulterior motives - you are emotionally vulnerable right now and they are like sharks they can sense it - You are in a good job to meet caring people ( those who visit family members ) Put the word out and relax and be yourself! Good Luck! btw if you choose not to heed my advice at least dont ever take the man back to your house and also dont sleep with him untill he has met your friends and family and you have checked him out - Even at that I would not personally ever go out with someone that uses those sites again.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Dear poster, you fell into the hands of a real bad ass. I bet that he doesn't have that much in common with you. My guess is that he was just deceiving you to take advantage from you, and he did it in this very low manner.
Most men are not like that. Don't give up, but be a little more careful who you date.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Hi there,
well all I can say is sorry for picking such a bum.
But do not be deterred, it is true that a lot of men on these sites are either married ( apparently almost half ) or have alterior motives. But on the flip side there are also a lot of men who like you want to meet that special someone to share their life with.
It's just a case of finding that man, don't change your M.O here, you just were very unlucky that's all.
You may take a few more knocks in the process, but that's what life is about isnt it?
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