A
female
age
41-50,
*umble1231
writes:Please someone give me some advice. I have been dating a man for about 6 months now. He has constantly been in my face telling me he loves me and I will be his wife. Well, I didn't say anything to him about this but a really good friend of his was trying to make me catch him with a nother woman. I did not listen to this friend because I did not feel that was the case. Also, this so-called friend of his wanted to be with me, I declined and never spoke to him again. About 3 weeks ago, I told him I had fallen in love with him too. All of a sudden things changed. We spent 7 days a week with each other before, where as now, I see him maybe once a week. To add icing on the cake, another friend told me that he thinks I am too clingy and I am moving too fast. I dont understand this because he is a good person and I truly thought he loved me. When I tried to speak to him about this he gave me some lame story about his culture and his family not wanting him to be with an african woman. I knew in my heart that was a lie. What should I do now? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (12 December 2009):
Totally back off for a couple of weeks and give him space. If you betray his friends by using their statements in your fight, they are often the ones who influence his decisions so don't make them fight or you will be enemy number one to the whole group. "she's trying to break us up!!" If he has insulted you by telling you this excuse then just stop communicating with him until he makes the first move. Don't badger him and demand to know but why why why when he has already told you let it go. I would not marry someone who ever said that to me because that means other people would always determine your relationship. He is not proud of you so maybe you were an experiment to see what the 'other side' is like. Just pick up your pride and move onto someone worthy.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (12 December 2009):
 Cut out the middle men who are telling your this that and the other, and talk direct to him. Tell him about the friend who was saying he is playing around with another woman. Tell him about the friend who said he said you were too clingy. Ask him how much truth there is in these stories.
If he again strings you a line about his family not wanting him to be with an african woman, ask him what that means for your future together. It all sounds a bit juvenile in some ways - what with his friends input and everything.
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