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I am frustrated my girlfriend can't meet me this weekend.

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2013)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I been seeing this girl. We are really close and she tells me she likes me. Well I know anyway the way we spend our time together.

We meet once a week and she never changes her plans if for example she is meeting friends and I ask to meet.

she hurt her leg a bit, and says she can't come out. It really frustrates me because I was so looking forward to it. We talk 24/7, so it's big buildup.

she told me in the morning, whereas if it's her friends she goes running. I don't think she ever given them an excuse.

I got so annoyed this morning yet I wished her well, and stopped talking to her pretending I'm busy so I don't say anything stupid.

every time we meet she says she feels like she loves me. We talk like couple. so what is her bloody problem?

is it that hard to meet once a week?

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A female reader, Atsweet1 United States +, writes (24 February 2013):

Atsweet1 agony auntI would be frustrated too but I would go meet with her since her third leg is hurt which causes bloody mary to come every month lmao. Plus we all as women have a hurt leg while you have a third leg. Act like you have one and stop acting childish. Maybe she does prioritize you the way you do her. It appears you may be on different pages of understanding which is hard to believe being that you talk ? 24/7 ? Which is hard to believe people don't talk that much unless you have nothing else going on like work and so forth.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2013):

So this girl, who you claim to really like, has hurt her leg and you somehow manage to make it all about you?! Did you even ask if she is ok? I think you are being very selfish and demanding given the fact this is a fairly new relationship. Why should she cancel plans she has already made because you ask? She has given them her word and to go back on it to meet a guy (NOT if she was hurt though which is a valid excuse) would be poor behaviour on her part. Plus remember the fact that her friends have been around a lot longer than you have. And a lot longer than you are likely to be if you keep acting like you are. Stop expecting to be her number one priority until you have built a proper relationship with this girl.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2013):

Not sure about one thing. Did she hurt her leg and say she couldn't visit, but still went running with her friends? If that's the case, that sounds bad. She sounds a lot like someone I knew. She's all sweet when you're alone, but will brush you off for friends, but not the other way around. I think she cares about you, even loves you, but she's the kind of girl that has her priorities (or at least it seems that way from what you've said) and you're not at the top of that. Then again, she does talk to you 24/7, so she does make time for you. Sure, maybe you don't meet up, but when faced with spending time with friends (who she can't be with if she's talking to you), or meeting up with you (who she verbally meets all the time), she may choose the friends.

My one bit of advice is to tell her how important these visits are to you in a way that doesn't sound accusing, demanding, or negative. Use "I feel" statements like "I feel bad that we didn't get to meet up the other day. I know you had your reasons, but it's just that we don't get to see each other too often. I know you've got your friends but I'D FEEL happier and closer to you if you made these visits a set-in-stone thing once a week. It means a lot to me to see you." That's a fair way to go about it, but make sure to listen to her reasons as well. A lot of the time we don't see what's in the other person's head, and when we think we know what's up, we're totally wrong. Giver her a chance.

If after that she still doesn't put you before her friends and has no legitimate reason that you can happily (or contentedly) accept...well, there's a saying: Don't make someone a priority if you're just an option. If she doesn't now, she won't later, and soon you'll find that even when the one thing that used to be above you is gone, something else will take it's place, cause you have been comfortably and permanently placed at #2 and it won't matter if #1 is gone for good, cause you're still #2, so either something new will take that top spot or something that was once below you will be bumped up. I don't think that's how this will play out for you, but if it does, you're best just leaving.

P.S. Don't become clingy. That's not what this is about.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2013):

I get yor point and I understand why you are so annoyed. Maybe she's feeling awful, her legs probbly killing her, or maybe she is taking care of something like bills or appoinments. Only she knows, but I really do believe she loves you so keep trying. I hope this has helped you. :)

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