A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:recently broke it off with a long term girlfriend b/c of some big differneces we had been having..I broke it off 2 mo. I have been secretly hoping she would come back and haven't been in the best state of mind..I mailed a closure letter that stated why I left, ect..she mailed something back that basically said it was my attitude, my wants, my expectations, my everything that made her uneasy about the relationship all along..during the relationship I think I was a good man to her and I wasn't really fully aware she felt like this..I'm hurt even more b/c I now feel like there were things I could have done better..I asked her if we could work on it and she said she is moving on..I know most people say to get over someone you have to say to yourself "it wasn't my fault", or "you can't make people love you", but this recent letter makes it really hard b/c the blame was put solely on me..she didn't take responsibility for much except that "we had different views on relationships"..didn't apologize for much, didn't say anything at all..I was very frustrated during the relationship , at times, b/c I feel like I am at the point in my life where I'd like to get married, ect and she frequently wanted us to "just have fun" and not worry about "expectations"..everytime I bought something up about the serious side of the relationship, what I want or expect from her, it sometimes turned into an arguement..she then said that my "raising my voice sometimes" was the reason she never moved in with me..I feel twisted in a ball right now, unable to really know why the relationship ended..a big part of me feels she just tried out the stable, loyal life with me and just decided it wasn't for her..she cried sometimes during the realtionship and said she "didn't know if she could have the same life as me" or "i don't want to disappoint you"..i just don't get it..it is really hard to move on when the blame has been square on me,, i feel like i can't do it and i need a better explanation. I know i won't get it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): Well great revealation i would like to make to you
girls have tendency to emotionally clear themselves from future confrontation.
recently i broke up with my gf, she complaint a lot to me about me and she holds me responsible for break up.
but i managed to hack her mobile phone call details (i am an engineering student dealing in telephony and automobiles)
i came to find out instead of one she had 3 cell phones and affair with 2 boys for timesass. The girl whom i used to think was so simple, so nice, so sweet was the one who had been cheation me since 6 months.
i found out that her cell phone was recieving a network from the same tower that other guy was using. And thats too when she told me that she is going to college but she was 40 km away from college with the other guy... Lol and infront of me she used to pose like a strictly simple and conservative girl... Her other phones used to stay busy whole night. While to other guy she used to sent intimate messages... I cannot write... More its like openin another sore wounds.
well i've not let her know about it. Because its fatal crime to hack call details. But at least i am relieved that i'm not being used anymore. But now i cannot trust anyone... :-(
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010): Dude,, The blame is ONLY your's IF you accept it and you have done nothing to be blamed for.You were looking for a life long committment and she was having fun and not looking for a life long commitment. Granted she may not have communicated her feelings worth a krap during the relationship. That is her Fault period. Move on !! You and her were just in different places in each of your lives.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 February 2010):
This letter says everything you need to know about this woman. She wanted all her own selfish fun without any responsibility. How selfish and pathetic of her to say you were all to blame. The explanation is that she was not ready in any way for any kind of relationship, and rather then face up to her own failures as a person, chose to blame you instead, knowing you would feel this way. She blamed you, because you were easier to blame than herself.
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