| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I broke up with a married man two weeks ago. While I am dealing with that and trying to let go, I am also crying over the fact that I will no longer be friends with his wife either. Please don't judge and tell me she is better off without friends like me- I know that. In my anger and immaturity, I returned some unused gifts I had received from them and she was very upset about it.The ex- lover has also told me not to contact either of them anymore. I am truly sorry I hurt her. And even though it was immature, it was something I felt I had to do at that point. So right now, I don't miss the ex, but his wife is who I am feeling sorry about. I am sorry that my behaviour hurt her feelings. When I returned those gifts, I knew this would be the outcome, but I can't stop crying- over the loss of this... I don't know what advice I want to hear and I know it is better for them - and myself if we are no longer in contact. But I feel so empty.....and depressed.
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, immature, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2016): Hey everybody makes mistakes and in the heat of the moment when they are emotional they make bad decisions. As long as you know never to do this again then use this as a learning experience.Don't feel bad about what is done that will only make you a worse person. Who will that be of benefit to? Nobody. You will be of more benefit with a positive frame of mind and anybody who comes in to contact with you will benefit from the happy you and not the sad you feeling bad for all of your past mistakes.You can't change the past. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future :) Even when you meet a friend in life it doesn't mean you are immune to doing something stupid. Yes you have lost this friend but if you leave her alone she will move on ad eventually forget about it. You can make other friends, it would just be easier if you forgot about her and let her carry on with her life.You will meet other friends but by now I'm sure you will never repeat this mistake. If you want a lover there are many places to find one, just go for somebody unattached.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 January 2016):
 Well, hard lesson to learn.
Don't "date" married or guys who are already in a relationship. Because when it ALL goes sideways the only one who really don't get hurt, is the guy who is cheating on his partner. And never the spouse of someone you call friend.
And yes, it wasn't fair lashing out at her, when SHE have done ABSOLUTELY no wrong towards you, but here is the deal... You did, now you deal with the consequences.
What else can you do? You CAN stop beating yourself up for having made a bad choice in bedfellows, but it's not like you FORCED him to have an affair with you. So don't go think YOU are the major bad guy in the picture.... HE is just as guilty.
At some point you will stop hurting, and hopefully you will reflect on your past actions and NOT do the same stupid thing again.
...............................
|
