A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have this friends and we're friends with benefits. I know its supposed to be no strings attached but I'm starting to develop feelings.I want to stop but I can't control myself around him, I do whatever he wants (besides sex)the way I grew up and the environment I was in, I feel the need to cater to men and that they are above me.I can't find it in myself to stop having oral sex and stuff because of the extreemmeeee attraction and how I place myself with him (him being above and better than me)I kinda need help /:
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 July 2008):
 What you're describing is a kind of sexual assault. He's forcing you, you don't want to do it.
Hon, please call that number I gave you. Have a talk with someone there who DOES think that you matter and is also trained to deal with these things....
Or at least talk with some one in your family or a teacher to tell them. The sooner you do this, the sooner you will get the attention you deserve and he'll stop forcing you to do things you don't want to do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyah at first I wanted to then I didn't like it and would refuse then hed make me and make me feel bad. pretty much force me.
and I feel unwanted because no one in my family seems to notice me or even care so I turn to a guys attention.
we also hang out a lot and I'm always paying for him and inviting him place and buying him gifts and giving him money.
I just feel lonely and I enjoy his company and the feeling of someone caring. and what sucks is I KNOW he doesn't care for me but how he hugs and kisses and cuddle me makes me feel like he does at the moment. then he'll lead my hand down his pants and start groping my breasts and force my head down there and place his dick in my mouth.
I just want to make him happy.
afterwards I feel terrible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): First,of all,people have different beliefs,and if you feeldifferently,then you just do,and that's what you feel is right.But no one is better than anybody else,I'll tell you that right now.Men aren't better than women and never will be.Both sexes are equal,so never feel like you have to give them what they want just because you think they're better.Stop doing this and build up some respect for yourself.By the way,if you don't mind me asking,does he force you to do certain things that you're uncomfortable with?Because no woman should cater to those types of needs.If you want to talk more,message me....
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 July 2008):
Why do you feel unwanted?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI also feel like I'm unwanted and as long as I perform oral sex for him that I'm useful and I'm finally doing something right - growing up and still, it feels like everything I've done just isn't good enough. embarrassingly, doing these things with him raise my self-esteem, a little.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 July 2008):
Is there someone you can talk with about this? It sounds like you're not very happy with your home environment.
You really are too young to deal with the feelings that sexual activity brings. I don't care if you're not having 'sex' which I think means intercourse to you. You're still engaging in sexual activity and your feelings of inadequacy and the feeling that you're developing feelings for the boy tells me that you are severely conflicted on this. Whose idea was it to be 'friends with benefits'? His or yours?
Hon, tell your mother or father or a trusted relative, you do have one, don't you? And ask them to take you to the doctor, so that you can get referred to someone who can help you and work on these feelings.
If you don't feel you can talk with anyone in your family, why not give this organization a try.
National Youth Crisis Hotline: 800-442-HOPE (4673)
Provides counseling and referrals to local drug treatment centers, shelters, and counseling services. Responds to youth dealing with pregnancy, molestation, suicide, and child abuse. Operates 24 hours, seven days a week.
If you really do feel you need help, then you don't have much to lost from trying it, do you?
You have your whole life ahead of you, and you know that you're not happy right now. Why not go ahead and get the help you need now?
I wish you good mental health and hope you do what is best for you.
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