A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This guy and I met online and talked for 6 months. The whole time he gave mixed signals. He finally admitted that he was having an affair with a married woman and said he couldn't pull away from her. He always found fault in everthing I did. He even begged me for sex. The the next day he told me he didn't want have anything to do with me, because I wasn't the type of girl he wanted and that he only wanted to use me for sex. Thank goodness I didn't engage. He won't talk to me at all, yet he stalks me daily online. What the heck is his problem?
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affair, married woman, met online Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010): How do you know he stalks you online if he doesn't talk to you? I mean physical evidence do you have of this as in what actions has he taken etc.
I'm asking this so I can advise you how to stop him doing that. You can block people very easily online and you can set up a sphere of privacy too by limiting the info you post on every single profile you have, from itunes to facebook.
The biggest privacy mistake people make online is putting different info on each of their profiles thinking it's safe that way, such as email address on facebook, phone number on myspace address on other profiles, online phonebooks that have your address etc. not considering that accessing all your profiles is very easy once you know someones name and/or email address.
Google your name and email address and see what you can find. Spend a couple of hours searching links and finding ways of stalking yourself, get a pen and paper and piece together all the info about yourself that is online you might be surprized to see how much is actually there. Then spend a while consolidating all this info and removing sensitive information.
The only things I have online that are publicly viewable now are my email address and name. My email address is my name so there's no escaping that. I do however have several email addresses some of them anonymous, I also use lots of different usernames all characters from ancient Greek mythology. When I did a self stalk, I was able to get everything about myself, schools, colleges I attended including subjects, phone number, address, date of birth. I was even able to work out my own schedule of where I'd be and when it was quite strange. So I set about removing all those traces, emailed sites that had my details and pictures of me to remove them edited my own accounts to no longer display personal info.
You won't find me posting as Cerberus on any other site ever.
A
male
reader, Steelhawk65 +, writes (10 October 2010):
 This guy really needs to leave you alone... If he doesn't, change your emails or whatever you're using to communicate with him. He could be some 60 year-old stocker rapist serial killer for all you know, and you're a young girl which is exactly what people like that are after. and please block this person because there are some sick, sick evil people out there with young girls like you as their targets
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A
female
reader, BBee  +, writes (10 October 2010):
The problem is YOU need to BLOCK HIM from everything. Stay away from this person online. His behavior IS NOT NORMAL. You should NEVER reveal your address, phone number or workplace to any person online and most importantly DO NOT TRUST ANYONE ONE THE INTERNET.
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