A
female
age
51-59,
*tripey
writes:I've known a guy for about a year through some other male friends, and have never been that bothered with him. Last time I went to see my friends I spent most of the evening with Mr X and we found that we had a similar hobby, exchanged numbers and promised to make contact to arrange a day out.The following day I realised that I quite fancied this man and was looking forward to our day out.It has been about six weeks and last monday he phoned to see if I was busy on the weekend, I was over the moon he'd rang and couldn't wait for the weekend to arrive. As I have two children from my previous marriage I needed to make sort out details for our "date", so i texted him last wednesday, no answer, phoned him on thursday, no answer. He then texted me Friday explaing, he'd been snowed under at work hadn't had chance to organise anything yet, but would ring sat morning with details. He said he was sorry he couldn't answer his phone but had it in work and gets in trouble with his boss for having the phone. So i was happy again, he had made contact. The following day, he didn't phone, but rather than try and read to much into it I settled in the knowledge that him and all his friends were coming over later on so i would see him then. He did turn up, the atmosphere was awful to start, until one of the other boys made a joke about our "date". Once we got the opportunity to be on our own, and I hate that i've done this, I blurted out that I really liked him and was dissappointed he hadn't rang, he explained that he was sorry and didn't even give it a thought as he knew they were all coming over later that day. H promised we would go out and has made arrangements for this sunday, which he confirmed by text last sunday.So here it is, this is the first time I have ever told someone that I liked them since the end of my marriage, 5 years ago, I feel like I'm on a runaway train, heading down the track at 100mph fast running out of track about to fall off the end with my heart wide open and exposed to be smashed at the bottom, and why do I feel like this, the guy is married.I am slowly realising that I really like him and where at the start for me at least the "Date" was only ever two mates spending some time together, I feel that the game has changed, and we both know there is something else. All of his friends made comments at the weekend when we talking to each other on our own, so I know that other people can see it.My marriage ended with the hlp of a woman like me who had an affair with a married out of reach, out of bounds man and I know how much pain is caused by it so why am I not jumping from the train and running like hell in the opposite direction. I hate myself that I feel this way and hate the idea that I'm even considering having a relationship (at some level) with this man.Any suggestions or advice gratefully received
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affair, at work, exchanged numbers, married man, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009):
Please dont have an affair with him.
I am not saying that for the feelings of his wife,
for him, for anyone else or what people may say.
I am saying that for YOU.
2 years ago I had an affair with a married man.
his wife never found out. But this has truly messed me up
in a way I cannot even describe or get over.
I know I am not a bad person. All I can say is maybe
this should show you that although an affair hurts the wife more than anyone. It also affects the other women aswell. And were all human afterall arent we. No one attends too meet a married man.
Go meet someone who deserves you. He prob didnt txt back or call that day cos he was with his wife. He prob doesnt love her. But you deserve better. SO much better. So did I.
So does his wife.
Good Luck.
x
x
x
A
male
reader, The old Man?  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 It sounds as you've answered your own question.You lost your marriage because of cheating. You know how much it hurts. Yet you are considering doing that to someone else?Consider her feelings.Forget about him. There are plenty of single men out there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): You already know the answer because you have been through the pain yourself already. don't do it to another.
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