A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am separated from my wife of 20 years, my marriage is over. My wife is seeing other men now. I have this female friend who has been my friend since grammar school. We meet for coffee dates once in a while. She still maintains an old friendship with another classmate of ours who I am very attracted to. I have asked her a few times about dating this other friend. The last time I asked, she said she would try to get us together, but I see it really frustrated her. She started to say sexual things to me, she talks about how unhappy she is in her marriage and told me she hasn't had sex with her husband in 2 years. I joking said that I could take care of that and she quickly dismissed that. I know she must be sexually frustrated and her body language suggests that she would have sex with me. I really want to remain free and clear of sex with her because I want to date this other woman and I prefer to stay away from married women. Do you think she keeps putting this other woman off in hope she can can an affair with me even though she was fast to say no to my kidding with her? She is making me frustrated putting this other woman on hold from me and her comments about her sexual situation at home. I love this friend as a friend,and don't want to complicate our friendship with sex. I just am so confused about what really is on her mind. What do you think she is thinking about me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): She obviously has feelings for you and probably wants to have you take care of her sexual frustrations but won't because she's married. If you have another way of contacting the other woman you would like to date that would be the best option here because it doesn't sound like she wants that to happen.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): If she wanted to be adultrous and wanted to sleep with you it would have happened, or be in progress. She probably likes having a male friend to give her what her marriage isn't, and she probably doesn't want you to be distracted. It might be that she knows something bad about the other woman, but my guess is that she's selfish...thinking about herself and not you.
Make your own ovatures to the woman you are after, and cut out the middle man!!
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (7 May 2010):
 It sounds like this friend has feelings for you in some way. The fact that she's sexually frustrated is making those feelings more apparent. The fact that you are showing an interest in this other woman is making your friend jealous, even though SHE knows she cannot do anything about it. But unfortunately, because she is jealous... her instinct is to not help you.
It's just like being back in grade school. Nobody wants to help their crush get involved with someone else.
You're on the right track in realizing you shouldn't get involved with this friend. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to help her. If you are interested in this other woman, than you gotta just do what you can to get her information. Keep pushing your friend till she gives it to you. Because of her feelings for you I wouldn't expect too much help from her in talking to this other woman or "putting in a good word for you".
Good luck.
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