A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, ihave a problem. i was dating a girl for awhile and it was good i didnt really see any future with her so I ended it as best i could (we were only together for about 3 months not sleeping together) anyway one of the biggest problems was her family, she is asian and I am not. To be honest it was all jsut too much hard work. I am a young guy and I dont want to deal with my partners family ALL OF THE TIME it was one thing after another. Plus everytime i saw them they would try to quote the bible at me and try to convert me to their church! My ex GF rivals a 3 year old for maturity levels. she would flip out if I even spoke to another girl. plus she would tell me that in her country she has lots of family that would take care of me if i ever did the wrong thing.My mate reckons that it happens allot in asian families. I dont know if this is true or not.Anyway i broke up with her and began seeing a great girl who is the same background as me its soo much easier... her parents dont go to church!!. I know i sound like a racist pig but im really not. anyway my girl and I have been going along great and have had no problems at all, I think i may even be falling in love with her. the problem is the ex just wont go away! she has somehow gotten my gf's number and sends her nasty txt messages. she is always trying to come over and seduce me (which is kinda funny coz she has noooo idea what to do and it kidna ends up looking like cheap porn!)anyway i have tried to talk to her about it but she wont listen. I dont even want to be friends with her anymore. I went to the police about her because she scratched my GF's car with keys. Still no change in her. I have moved, changed emails and phone numbers but she still finds me. My gf is starting to get scared and to be honest so am i, any ideas?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): i kno exactly what you mean, i work with my ex she threatens me every day saying she wil make up stories get me sacked if i dont quit she will get me fired, constantly calling going crazy if i go to the pub, this has gone on for months. any girls asks me a question she makes a scene, she acts up to other people but goes medieval crazy wen there not there, it sucks dno wat to do either.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): Speak to the police. Compile a list of dated incidents in a journal, and call the police every time so they will log a crime number for every single incident, creating a history of her abuses. Apply for a restraining order that prevents her coming within a certain distance of you, and your girlfriend can get the same. If she breaks it, call the police every single time so it will be recorded. She could be taken in contempt for breaching it.Regards to your phone number...when you get a new number, give it to a new person a few days at a time, family first, then close friends, with a gap of two days between each. If she suddenly acquires your number, then you know who the guilty party is! Somebody must be giving her the number. Have two email accounts - one that everybody uses, and one that only your closest friends can email you at. That way, you can ignore emails from her.You're not a racist pig. You were not compatible with this girl. It sounds like your biggest problem with her was the religious issue - you are agnostic or atheist, have no need for belief, and yet she and her family continued to foist their beliefs on you. I think you mentioned that she was asian because she probably comes from a very collectivist culture. Family and duty are more important than to individualist Western culture, where people are encouraged to strive for themselves rather than be dutiful sons or daughters. Your ex is probably under pressure from her family and being shamed because your relationship didn't last, and she looks bad. That's why she's taking out her frustration on you.As to her comment about her family "taking care" of you - rubbish. Your friends are probably talking about honour killings, but they are usually performed by asian families on the daughter who dated outside of her religion or racial group, not on the outsider boyfriend. I don't think you'll come to any harm from them. They're probably mad at her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): restraining order!!!!Good luck...
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A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 If it's as serious as you say with the police involved, then you need to take a restraining order out on her.
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