A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI am writing for your advice on a very strange situation I am faced with. There is this woman in my office who has joined recently and her joining was intimated to us by our team lead by email. She works in a different room than mine. But we often pass by each other in the hallway or bump in the elevator. She has been nice to me with her 'Hellos' and 'Hi' and I reciprocate the same. I refer to her by her name. Unfortunately, I never had a formal introduction to her which is why I could never tell her my name. But I want to. How can I do it? I am passionately attracted to her and want to date her. To start with, how can I tell her my name. I am at a stage when we have already passed each other by number of times and have also had short talks in the elevator. Pls advice. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Quirklady,
Are you around? I am waiting for your reply.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Quirklady,
Hope you have been doing fine all these days. I haven't as things have been pretty gloomy with me. I started looking for a opportunity to introduce myself to this new lady in my office. Luckily for me, there was a farewell party in our office in which we all were invited. As expected, she too was there and I thought this social hour would be a perfect time for a casual introduction. In the party, our eyes met, she smiled at me and I smiled back-it was great. This encouraged me to look for a opportunity to sit next to her, but somehow I couldn't. I ended up sitting next to this gentleman who works in her department and gets along with me very well. Very soon, we were having a conversation of different topics and in the conversation we also discussed about our departmental work load. He then mentioned (without my asking at all) that this lady fell sick for a couple of days and the work piled up. We were sitting away from this lady and I am not sure if she heard our conversation as there were others in the hall too. But somehow, since that day she has been very cold to me. She avoids eye contact with me when we pass by, leave aside saying 'Hi' or 'Hello', whereas earlier she would always wish me first whenever we passed by.
The story does not end here. Last week, I moved to an apartment closer to work which would enable me to reach early to work and started boarding a bus. I was pleasantly surprised to see her in the same bus. But nothing has changed. She still avoids me as she did after the next day of the party.
I am now feeling terrible and pondering what mistake could have I made. When I introspect, I feel I have done nothing wrong nor intentionally hurt her. But somehow, that's what is coming across to me, if I were to go by her attitude towards me. Having confessed all this to you, I am ready to apologize to her if I have somehow hurt her feelings. But how do I get a chance to do so, and how do I get to know where I went wrong?
At times, I feel like whenever we pass by next, I should request a couple of minutes from her and talk over this issue but not sure.
I have opened my heart to you, please advise.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks or your reply. I am sure it is not easy to read her mind. I would rather try to be friendly with her. Today, as I was having lunch in that cafeteria with a client, she came in as usual, walked up to a table next to mine (though there were other empty tables too) and ate her lunch. There was no eye contact between us but I am sure she saw me with my client.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (7 January 2011):
 I don't know. Maybe she is shy. Maybe the microwave's better over there. Maybe she likes being alone during lunch.
Don't worry about it. Focus on saying hi and being friendly, not analyzing what she does during mealtimes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi QuirkLady, First of all, many many thanks for your reply. I appreciate your prompt willingness to help me out. I truly value your suggestions and as a matter of fact, to be honest with you had thought of something similar but was lacking in self confidence over my decision. Your answer, therefore, reassures me and encourages me to share something more (and rather strange) with you which I have observed about this beautiful woman. The floor we work on has a hallway at the end of which there is a common area with refrigerator, microwave, coffee maker etc. where we all have our lunch. Some of us at times go down to the ground floor cafeteria to have lunch. Now, this lady, when she has to take her lunch, gets up from her desk, takes the elevator and comes down to the ground floor and comes out of the building. Then she walks all the way to an office building situated next to our building, goes inside the cafeteria of that building and eats her lunch sitting alone in a corner. This whole process of getting up from the desk and going there takes around 5-8 minutes. Somehow, I am unable to decipher this. What could this possible indicate? I noticed this on a few occasions because I have been to the cafeteria of that building at lunch time with our clients who work in that building once every week for the past 4-5 weeks. Is there any 'tell tale' in this action of hers? Is she single or a loner or hates crowds? Pls share your valuable thoughts.
Waiting.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (6 January 2011):
How about this:
The next time you pass, say "Hi. You know, we've talked a few times but I've never introduced myself. My name is [Insert Your Name Here] and I work over in [Department]."
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