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female
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**vicki**
writes: i am probably being stupid but i just need some advice.before i met my boyfriend he had never had a proper girlfriend so he used to look at porn. when we started going out he stopped as i didnt think it was fair as he was now supposedly happy with me. however this was 6 months ago now and he has stopped. thing is i am still struggling to accept why he did it in the first place. he told me he was very unhappy, he was lonely as all his friends had gfs, he stopped going out cos he was fed up of being on his own and was too shy to talk to anyone, basically he said he was very lonely, sad, depressed and dare i say it, desperate. and he said this is why he did it cos it was better than nothing
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Dont compromise you values honey...you know deep down its wrong and so does anyone with an ounce of humanity who doesnt place their sexual needs higher than the abuse of others.....Talk to him about it...if hes still interested go and find a guy who is in touch with himself and reality.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Porn is a sexual stimuli. You don't have to be desperate or depressed to use it. It's like beer. It's a depressant, but it can also give u a good buzz and false confidence. You don't have to try to do anything to have half a dozen or so. Porn, with a lot of guys and girls, is an object that represents their sexual needs and wants. For you to be so disgusted by such meaningless things, that has absolutely no bearing on your current relationship, I wonder why you are with him then? Yes, you can argue that you see very nice things about him, that he is this and that, but ultimately, if you associate him as a man using porn as the most disgusting and despicable thing in someone's life, then I believe that your mind has some problems - emotionally and insecurely.
As with Shandypop, it's something of the past. End of story.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): He has come clean and has STOPPED so don't beat yourself or him up because of it. He used to do these things and doesn't do them now. Try and put them to the back of your mind and move on. We all did things in the past we are not chuffed about - but that is it - IN THE PAST. Please get these ideas out of your head, you will feel better for it and he doesn't deserve to be torment because of it. He needn't of told you about it.
Take care
xx
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