A
female
age
36-40,
*erajyl
writes:Hi.I have a good guy friend whom I know for almost 7 years. We lost contact in between, as he was studying overseas. in the past 2 years, we got back in touch. We have a good time meeting each time he returns from overseas. I feel that we have a lot to talk to each other when someone is around with us. but when both of us are alone together, we had nothing much to talk to each other and it would become awkward. Each time when we meet, he would never fail to ruffle my hair, shove me around playfully and tease me. He is really fun and nice to me, but then again, he is nice to everyone around. Once, when i was out with another guy friend, I bumped him. he stuttered and stammered, and I felt really bad. I explained to him later that i was just accompanying my guy friend to buy some IT gadgets.i feel that i am always the one initiating contact, be it an SMS, a call or an email. Sometimes, he did not even bother to reply to my sms. Recently, i went over to his college overseas, and thought he would be really excited ( i told him beforehand already). I messaged him, but he did not reply at all. in the end, i had to call him up and then, he finally appeared. I felt extremely comfortable and secure with this guy friend. My girlfriend commented that she can see the srrong bond we have from the way we interact with each other.I hope to take this relationship up a higher level. However, i do not know what he feels about me. I feel very confused. I want to pop the qn, but did not dare to. Please advise me! Thanks so much! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, a-g55  +, writes (1 June 2008):
 You have very good foundations to proceed to the next level. when you express to your friend that your feelings are stronger then you will both magically veer off into something on a higher level. so all you really want to say is that your feelings are stronger. and you want to be his one and only.
Alot of people say " i really like you and im looking for our relationship to be more serious" when you say that you suddenly enter into the unwritten contract of marrige like behavhior which can result in one person getting negged out or coming too far into your personal space then it will result in arguements over petty things.
when people are in a relationship they actualy visualise relationship as its some kind of object that must be protected. when you think you have to protect something your assuming that it is preyed upon. so you dont do certain things that you believe to destroy your relationship. as a human we cant help but expect other people to think in the same way especialy your partner so petty things might make you think you have endangered this relationship status.
what if there was no such thing to protect. you are both free willingly loving each other no matter what so the boundaries are open but you choose to stay in them. that means that if there is a slight bad move on sum1 elses part you can talk about it and set the grounds there and then.
as you think in this way. other people will see you as in a serious relationship.
so what i am advising is that you dont pop the question but you express and describe how you feel first and as time goes on you grow closer and closer until this next level is reached. im good with relationship stuff so email me if you want anything ;)
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