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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I've never written for advice before. Ok, here's my/our sitch... My boyfriend was/is bi. I'm not and I'm very scared, petrified actually. Not of STD's, I'm scared in an emotional sense. We met through a Christian dating site and he offered me to look at his myspace account and gave me the addy to his bi page on accident. It was quite a shock. We had a lengthy talk and he made it a point to say he wanted to make a go of our relationship and be a couple. He said he had seen a few guys just for sex, not any relationships. Some wanted relationships, and he wasn't exactly opposed but wasn't in to it and never got that far before having met me. He said it was easier to get with guys than girls and was never really good with women. He used to be overweight, but he's lost it all and is flat gorgeous! Young, 6'3"... tall, dark and handsome. He's shared with me some things have happened to him in the past to provoke this. I have a feeling there's more and it's not over. He says as long as we're together that he's totally committed to me/us. I guess it scares me that he seems ok with it. I've had lesbian tendencies, but have never actually acted them out. So I can relate, but I've not gone there!!! There is another thing, his sex drive has diminished. We've been together 2 months and the past 2 weeks he just hasn't had the urge. We've both had colds, my ex popped up and caused a scene and that certainly hasn't helped, but he thinks it's the fish oil he's been taking lately as a natural anti-depressant. I think it's because he's found unconditional love and acceptance in me and doesn't have the sex addiction he once had in search of love. I can relate to that... or, is there something about being in a "relationship" with a woman and not being promiscuous and adventurous with his previously bi lifestyle??? Thoughts? He does spend all his time with me and stays at my place, treats me great, is a gentleman, says "I Love you", does dishes, takes me to movies and puts his jacket over my shoulders when we walk back to the car. The other night we were watching TV and a really cute girly came on screen wearing a short skirt and he instantly said "ooh!" and quickly apologized! It was so cute. I know there's no one other than me, so why and I paranoid? Morales have been compromised... my gut hurts. How do I/we get passed this? Thank you for reading my book! I will share your thoughts and comments with my beloved boyfriend. We appreciate it! : )
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): Being bi doesn't make him anymore likely to go off with guys than if he was straight and going off with girls. It's just the same. I know loads of bi people; most have even got married; have stable relationships and families. Are you sure this isn't a lack of trust thing?
Honestly; why do you think that being bi makes him more likely to desert you?
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