A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 18 months is not affectionate, except during sex, and even then it's not the type of affection that I need. We bought a house together, and I'm living full time with his two kids and my two kids, while he works in another city most of the week. I know he isn't cheating on me because I've done my homework, however, he is resentful because he has to work so much to make ends meet. I'm a professional woman, who has made a career change, and also a lifestyle change.. taking on his two (needy and exhausting)boys. I try and initiate hugs and kisses, and sweet conversation, and most of the time I am rejected.I don't know what else to do to salvage our relationship, but he isn't responding to my requests for affection. I suppose I should just start searching for a way to separate (which would be financially devastating) and very difficult for his two kids, who would be forced to move back to their old city.Has anyone ever dealt with this before? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): What attracted you to him in the first place? You must of known he wasnt the affectionate type before you moved in. Have you talked to him and asked him why he is that way? Maybe you should. Do you work? You say you are a career woman, have you given up on it? Maybe you feel aggrieved that you have given up on your career while he is the sole breadwinner. Why do you have to have his kids? Where are their mum? Life is always different when you move in, I know i moved in with my bloke, I brought my son along and his son lives with us. It is so hard making everything work, but you have to work hard at it every day. I think you need to talk to him and point out where you are not happy and why, but dont just up and off, he need a chance to help to put things right.
As for the kids, well, it is not you total responsiblity to worry about his kids. You have kids of your own to think about.
Talk to him.
take care.
xx
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