A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are having to spend our summer vacation apart, long distance and when school starts, we'll be able to spend our time together again. He tends to have his whole day filled up with lots of things to do, really enjoying his vacation. Me on the other hand, I have been incredibly lonely and with all of my friends out of town for the summer, I've been bored out of my mind. I do as much as I can to stay occupied with my time reading books, cooking, practicing music...etc. With all this spare time, I look at my phone every five minutes hoping for a text or phone call from him. I get so frustrated when he doesn't call by the time he says he will or cancels our phone calls so he can do other stuff. It really is driving me crazy. Its the only thing I really look forward to. I am about ready to just tell him that I don't want to talk to him until we can be together again in the same city because I can't spend my time just waiting around for him. Is this a good or bad idea?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 August 2012):
 Bad idea.... is there a reason you don't even try to do things?
did you try to find a summer job?
a person who defines their entire life based on their partner is boring and needy and not desirable.
DO not sit around and wait for him...
DO not tell him NO CONTACT.
You need to find things to do...
places to go and people to meet
volunteer at a nursing home or hospital...
KEEP BUSY...
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 August 2012):
 I think it is a very bad idea, you cant just stop communicating with someone you are supposed to be in a relationship with just because you are jealous he is having fun!
Have you tried talking to him and telling him that it is hurtful when he cancels your phonecalls? Perhaps he doesnt realise how bored you are and how much you look forward to talking to him, so if he knows this he might make more effort to call you.
You cannot put relationships on hold until you are back in the same city again, you have to take the rough with the smooth and cannt simply ignore someone until it suits you. I know it is hard for you at the moment because you are a bit lonely and it is a bit insensitive of him to cancel on you so much, its never nice waiting around for someone to call. But you need to talk to him and work out a solution, perhaps you could arrange 1 call per week that neither of you can cancel unless there is an emergency, and then the rest of the week you text and call where you can?
Talking to him is the only thing you can do to resolve this, you will only feel worse if you cut contact with him for the rest of the summer and you will be even more lonely.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 August 2012):
 It could be a good idea, but what you are saying is that you want to be on a break. Do you want to be on a break/break up? If so say it. If you don't, then then don't. You should find yourself a volunteer position or something to pass the time. But if I was in his shoes and got that kind of message, I would assume you wanted to break up.
You need to find ways to distract yourself better. The things you are listing are fine, but they aren't really that good as distractions because you're still at home. Even going out to the movies is better because you can't look at your phone and you are away from home. Hang out with friends, go for a walk, go for a bike ride, just get yourself out of the house.
But assuming you want to stay with your boyfriend, don't say that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012): bad idea. It's not fair to someone if you make them responsible for your happiness. that's what you're basically doing with him. you're saying that you're so sad, and lonely, and miserable, and it's all because of him. that's not fair to him.
you need to go out and live your life and not revolve it around any one person even if it's him. He's got the right idea - he's living a full life. YOu need to do that too.
"I can't spend my time just waiting around for him."
Who says you should be doing this? In fact, you should NOT be spending your time just waiting around for him, you should be living your life to the fullest not be fixating it all on him.
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