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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi Readers.I'm a female in my early 20's and I am completley in love with another female who's in her early 30's...I'm so lost as to what to do because I'm unsure how she feels. I've felt this way about her for about 4 years now, and I had hoped that my feelings would fade over time, but instead they've gotten stronger for her. She's on my mind and in my thoughts all of the time, and I feel so lonely because I can't open up to her, or anyone. I wish so much that I could just be a normal girl who has a boyfriend and a normal straightforward life. Instead I'm faced with the fact that I'm possibly a lesbian in love with a woman that gives mixed signals all the time.I'm not sure what her sexuality is...She's single and has been for at least 2 years, She says she hasn't time for men, She doesn't seem to long for a husband and kids. There's so many things about her that make me wonder... And that's before I even explain how she is with me on z one to one basis...When I'm alone with her in her house, I feel that she feels the same way I do, and that both of us are to scared to make a move... But then I question whether or not I'm making a clouded judgement...Am I seeing what I want to see???I just need help and advice so badly. Please, I'm turning to this website because I really feel I've nowhere else to turn... I don't know whether to be brave enough to tell her at the risk of our friendship, or do I carry on as I have been, and enjoy the friendship, even though I'll always want more... I'd hold out to see what happens if it hadn't already been 4 years going on...PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME...Thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): If that's how you feel and it's getting you down then maybe you should tell her how you feel. 4 years is a long time to be in love with someone and them know nothing about it! I think first you should find out how she feels about homosexuality and if she's against it or not. If she isn't then that's a good step - plus you can see how she reacts to the topic. For example, if she brought it up with you you'd probably find it strange because you are in love with her, if you see what I mean. You may get further inklings about her feelings.
There's a chance it could ruin a friendship but it depends on how strong the friendship is, if she really cares about you and your friendship then it shouldn't affect it - and that's if she doesn't feel the same of course.
Also, even though there's a chance things could change, you will get one hell of a weight off your chest!
I hope I have been of some help, if you want any more advice you can private mail me. Best of luck :) !!
xx Hope xx
A
female
reader, junebug  +, writes (14 August 2008):
u need to just go tell her everything u told us tell her u are possable a lesbian and ur getting mixed signs from her and tell her u dont want to ruin ur guys friendship it means more then anything and if u never seen her with anyone and u get signs when ur alone with her then she might just be waiting for u bcuz shes older and maybe she thinks that since ur about 10 yrs younger u might not want her.if u cant tell her to her face then write a letter to her and hopefully it works out for u guys cuz it seems like u guys are feelin each other.just make sure u let her know u dont want this to come between ur guys friendship.good luck hon!
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