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male
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*eorge555
writes: I am terrified of commitment. I have just broken up with my girlfriend of 6 months because I just seem to panic and feel trapped all the time. She says that I don't really understand what a relationship actually means, and that I have no reason to feel trapped. I really do like this girl and I miss her but just worry that if I go back out with her these feelings will end up in me hurting her again. Any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2006): You don't say how old you are, but I think it is mature and sensitive of you to be weighing your needs against the possibility of hurting this woman. You say that you "panic and feel trapped all of the time." What does that mean? Is this a pattern or is this just with this person? If you are very young, then maybe you want to explore more possibilities before you "settle down". If you are older, then maybe you just aren't that excited about this girl. Look you'd miss anything after 6 months, at least for a bit. Next time, maybe you should just casually date, until you find someone you really want to "commit" more time too. If you are afraid of commitment, then you should explore that, but usually commitment phobes aren't sensitive enough to think about whether or not the other person will be hurt. Good Luck!
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