A
male
age
36-40,
*ungleboy
writes:I am a 22 year old male in love with my best friend of 12 years who is also a 22 year old male. I have never had any feelings like this for another guy, but I think now I might be bi. He claims to be straight, and this is why I am writing to you. We have been best friends forever, and have always been extremly close with each other as normal friends, but I think I might of had a crush on him for several years. I never paid too much attention to it, so it was not a problem. I would do anything for him, and he says the same about me. I always had a sense that he could be gay, or bi, as he has only had one girl friend, and I have never seen him talk about girls, or sexual things. He is a very closed quiet person, very to himself. I have been his ONLY friend for as long as I can remember. Anyways, About 2 years ago, I asked him to be my business partner, and thats when I really started having heavy feelings for him. Whenever we worked, we woulduse the same computer, and sit very close to one another on the couch. As time progressed, I started putting my hands on his leg, and then his inner thigh, and so on. We both never saidanything about it, and just acted like nothing was ever happening. One day, it progressed to me rubbing, and playing with his parts. I could tell by how it felt, that he was enjoyingthis. This kind of thing went on for quite a while. It was always the same, him just sitting there, and letting me do this to him. He never returned the same kind of action to me, and we never said a thing about it. I started to try to be more aggressive, and trying to build my self up tp kiss him. We were constantly cuddling together, and we would tell each other "I LOVE YOU" Several times we almost kissed, but it did not happen. Then about 2 months ago, I wanted him so bad, I could not take it anymore, and I asked if I could kiss him, because I was sure he would be cool with it. He freaked out to my suprise, and was acting like we had never done anything remotly gay, and told me that he is completly straight. He did not talk to me for several days (the longest sense we met). He said he was freaked out, and he might never talk to me again, as he did not feel like he knew me at this point. Like I was a completly different person. After a few days, he decided he wanted to be my friend, and he would try to forget about it. Well, now we are closer than ever , and we were all over each other tonight, and almost kissed. But like always he pretend like this is normal, and he is straight. Please let me know what you think about this. Is he gay?Should I confront him, or just take it one day at a time? I know how lame I must sound, but I really love him, and I feel like I will take it as slow as I need to, if I can be with him at some point. Am I wasting my time? Please help
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male
reader, bungleboy +, writes (1 February 2007):
bungleboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat is very good advice. I appreciate your time in answering
my question. I will think about this for a couple of days. If or when I decide what to do about this, I will post a update on what is going on. Thanks for your ideas, as it helps to hear other thoughts on this, as I do not have anyone I can, and feel comfortable discussing this with.
A
male
reader, bungleboy +, writes (1 February 2007):
bungleboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat is very good advice. I appreciate your time in answering
my question. I will think about this for a couple of days. If or when I decide what to do about this, I will post a update on what is going on. Thanks for your ideas, as it helps to hear other thoughts on this, as I do not have anyone I can, and feel comfortable discussing this with.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 I think your friend is confused about his sexuality. You do things to him and he likes it so he doesn't pull away but kissing is maybe just too personal for him just now. If he was totally straight he would never allow you to touch him the way you have. Maybe he thinks in his mind that this is wrong and hates how he likes it. Kissing him would, I think in his opinion be taking it to the next level and would leave no doubt in his mind that he must be gay or at least bi and I think that is why he is resisting for now.
He could also be thinking that if he does go further with you it will ruin the wonderful friendship you have together and doesn't want to risk that. Whatever his reasons, I think you need to sit down with him and have a good man to man chat. Tell him YOUR fears and ask him his. You have known each other for 12 years but this is all very new to both of you but you need to talk about it. Let him know you'll take it as slowly as he wants and that there's no rush. I'm sure deep down he feels the same way but you won't know for sure unless you ask him.
Good luck and let me know how it goes.
Eve
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