A
female
,
anonymous
writes: i have a crush on 21yr old, i'm 50 and married is this normal?
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female
reader, smeedle +, writes (11 February 2006):
I would say that finding a 20 year old attractive is fine but wanting to persue someone that young is just trying to have something you carnt, you maybe realising that you are getting on and trying to hang onto youth, well that is not the way to go (mid life crisis maybe)
The only way young people go with older blokes is if they are really rich or if the younger person is looking for a father figure, im not saying there are not exceptions to this as there will be but im talikg generally and lets not forget you are a married man, stop lusting after her!!
A
female
reader, nofrills +, writes (11 February 2006):
Are you crazy or what?
Do you really think this kid will be sticking around in 10 years when all has "gone south" ?
I mean, you could be his mother , for crying out loud!
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (11 February 2006):
"Normal" is a minefield of a word, so let's put it this way: your crush isn't surprising.
At 21, a man is in the pink of youth and at the peak of his attractiveness, virility and energy. Why *wouldn't* you appreciate that?
However, the likelihood of your crush developing into anything more is remote, and you should be realistic -- even brutal -- with yourself. He's unlikely to be interested in return, even if you weren't married. Sorry, but there it is.
What you need to think about is WHY you have a crush on someone who is, for all intents and purposes, unattainable.
Is it because he's "safe", since he's not likely to reciprocate? Or so young that he's no threat to you? Is it just animal lust that rings your bell? Is something lacking in your marriage that this guy seems to provide or have in spades?
Those are the questions you ask yourself that will get to the bottom of your problem. Once you work out what you're lacking, you can take action to solve that problem, and you'll probably find that the crush evaporates on its own.
Hope that this helps.
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