A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi,I am 21 year old and I'm really scared of intercourse. I am a virgin still. Is this normal and what can I do about it ? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2007): What are you so afraid of? Sex is a wonderful, exciting experience. Okay, your first time may be a little frightening, especially since you waited so long, and have had alot of time to think about it rather than doing it. So it's like this: Relax. When the right man comes along, and you love each other completely then and only then will you be ready emotionally for the next step. You may even want to be married first. Nothing's wrong with that. And now for the physical stuff. Trust me, it'll be more exciting than horrible. And yeah, it may hurt just a wee bit upon entry but it's not unbearable (there are worse pains, like childbirth and menstrual cramps) and the pleasure that follows will help you forget! Make it special and it'll be a great experience for the both of you. Best of luck.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (24 May 2007):
Yes, it is VERY normal to be afraid. Having sex can be very scary...not just the potential physical pain, but some people tie their virginity with their identities, and having sex is like a challenge to someone's identity, and that can be very troubling. Sex will not physically change you (except the obvious breaking of the hyman, and maybe some inside streching) but it will change you in other ways. Emotionally and mentally, it changes how you feel and think of yourself, and can make you understand other people who have had it, as well as the socities obsessions with it.
If you are really scared, find someone that can handle your fear and sexuality.
-FBK
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A
female
reader, m698778 +, writes (24 May 2007):
of course most women are frightened upon this!! i would be!in case you already know this will be painful.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (24 May 2007):
It may not be that you're scared of intercourse, but rather of being intimate with someone. When you find someone that you love, after a while, you'll be excited about it, I promise. Just give it time.
DV1
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