A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why does everyone seem to look down on me because I don't want a boyfriend. I am 14 and I don't think I am ready for a relationship yet. I have had boyfriends but I cant really be bothered with them yet. I want to do well at school and get some good grades, go to college, enjoy single life, get a flat or house?? Then think abut boyfriends. All my friends turn their noses up at me and call me a geek?? Is there something wrong with this?? What am I doing wrong?? pls help someone xxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (21 April 2007):
 There is nothing wrong with you, but you are obviously a talented, intelligent young lady who knows her mind and you have got to expect other people to be jealous and threatened by that. The first instinct of jealous people is to name-call and try to put you down. By all means focus on what you want from life. When I was your age I came in for the same sort of problems - I didn't want to chase spotty teenage boys around the YMCA disco. Your friends may appear to be having a good time dating but teenage boys are lousy boyfriends...immature, thinking with their second brain in the southern hemisphere and not generally sure of themselves let alone what they want from a relationship. Bypass the agony, smile at your friends in the certain knowledge that as a young adult you will have a quality of life far better than theirs and relax in the sure knowledge that you know your own mind - a wonderful achievement for your age!
A
female
reader, blackrose1988 +, writes (21 April 2007):
 As Martini said, your friends are in the wrong, not you. I didn't have a boyfriend when I was your age and don't regret it in the slightest. I got good grades at school, went to college and am now at a good university.
Good on you for wanting to do well. These people don't really sound like friends if they're looking down on you for not having a boyfriend. You're not a geek at all, you're rather sensible actually.
High school's a jungle at the best of times and I know it's hard when people are being mean, but think about where you'll be in a few years' time. I doubt those who spend all their time messing about with boys will do as well as you will!
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2007): hay babz
dont worry just stand your grownd if thay call you a geek call them a slapper see how thay fell then or make up something to say like its agenst my religen.ok so dont worry. soz if spellings are rong. biy xxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2007): Yes, there IS something very wrong about this. What is wrong is your supposed friends dictating that you are less than them just because you want to get your priorities straight.
First and foremost, I would like to congratulate you on a job well done on being sensible and standing up to your own beliefs. Secondly, your plans to do well in school, go to college/university/post-sec, enjoy your life, go with the flow, etc, etc is quite refined and mature. Don't submit to what others believe you should do, and rather, do what you feel you want to do.
Wow, of nearly all of the other posts at DearCupid.org to do with teenagers and their love-sick ambitions, your post definitely brought a smile to my face.
Finally, to answer you last question - no you're not doing anything wrong per se. Only thing you're doing 'wrong' is let your supposed 'friends' get you down. I know how high school politics can really suck the happiness out of anyone, but try to find people who are on the same wavelength as you are in maturity and consideration.
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