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I am 13 and my girlfriend is a bit shy to go any further, what can I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 February 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 February 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi i am 13 and i think my girlfriend is a bit shy about doing anything physical she is ok with hugging and kissing at school discos but she wont go any further what can i do ??????

View related questions: kissing, shy

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (11 February 2007):

Your only 13, and if shes the same age then she probly is not ready. Just dont try anything with her untill she is ready, or you may end up with no girlfriend at all.

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (11 February 2007):

maxsteel86 agony auntRespect her wishes. She's totally a kid still

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A male reader, Dr. John United States +, writes (10 February 2007):

Dr. John agony auntYoung fella, I am not going to tell you something you are going to like because experience has taught me a lot about this sort of thing and I didn't like the answers I found on my own.

The interesting thing is that the answers I found, and will give you work without a doubt.

At your age your hormones are raging.

Your emotions are in a whirlwind of turmoil.

You feel like you need to be able to have someone close to you. Someone you can hold. Someone who makes you feel good.

The problem is, as contradictory as it sounds, this is the last thing you need right now in as much as it being a member of the opposite sex.

It may sound old fashioned but I am sure you have been told you are too young for this kind of a relationship. Adults will tell you time and time again that you need to wait till you are a little older. This is not just adults that want to tell you what to do, but they have learned from experience the best path to take in these matters.

At your age you cannot have a stable and meaningful relationship because you not only don't have the experience but the mental maturity to handle it.

It is something like deciding to have a big juicy orange but getting one that is not yet ripe. It could be so sour that you could not possibly enjoy it. However, let it ripen to perfection and it will be very enjoyable.

On her part, how could you expect her to want to go farther than kissing and hand holding? Some girls do not physically begin to mature until their mid to late teens and in fact may not be capable of enjoying all the physical entities involved in a serious relationship.

Of course she is responding to the mental aspects because a female will mature mentally much sooner than a male, but that does not mean they always do what is good for them. A female will often give in to a male's advances to satisfy her emotional needs and that is often when they both fall into the trap. If you pressure her to do something you know you are both too young for you could do her severe emotional damage not to mention what problems could arise should she become pregnant!

Are you ready to be married? To support a baby? An entire family arrangement? I don't think so. You are still a kid! Enjoy it while you can. Before you know it you will be dealing with your own family problems and I hope you will be able to reflect on what I am telling you here and say; I sure am glad I followed Doc's advice. Though I don't know you, I really do hope things go well and proper for you and I hope I have given you helpful suggestions.

Doc.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (10 February 2007):

kenny agony auntYou are so so young, enjoy the hugging and kissing, and all the joy that being 13 brings.

All that physical stuff can wait till way way later.

Good luck

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (10 February 2007):

cd206 agony auntHow much further do you want to go? You're 13! Enjoy the innocence of a little bit of kissing and cuddling before anything else complicates it.

CD

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