A
female
age
36-40,
*nesided
writes:I am 20 years old, in college, and I have a huge crush on my professor. It wasn't a big deal at first, he was just good looking and really funny. But then slowly it developed into this big crush that now I cannot stop thinking about him. I think about him all the time. He isn't married, and as far as I know, I don't think he has a girlfriend either.I am too shy to confess to him, especially because I know he doesn't like me back and he'll just reject me and it'll be all awkward and weird. But what can I do to drop hints to him indirectly that I like him? Because though I am too shy to say actually say anything, I'd still wish that he knows that I like him.
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female
reader, champilyn  +, writes (20 November 2009):
 honestly, we're on the same boat. I am also in love with my professor, and i'm 20. he was my professor last semester, and not I'm stalking him, and we say hi to each other. there was even a time when I asked of his age. I don't know what to do. I totally agree to the last anonymous reply, and I hope it helps you. I hope I can do that too. LOLz
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): I think that something was lost in translation and the first replier understood a completely different situation to the one that was actually posted. No offense to LJ001, but you should ignore her advice. Professor-student relationships are not an issue in US universities. At my university the policy is that the administration prefers that they do not occur, but they allow them to without any repercussions. As long as the student is not underage, there is no problem.
Now to your problem. I agree that you probably won't get a very good result if you just outright tell him that you like him. You would really be putting him on the spot and he might just reject you automatically out of surprise. My advice is for you to sort of plant the seeds of attraction first. Try smiling at him if you pass him in the hallway or somewhere else. If that goes well, then you could try flirting with him a little if it's just the two of you. If you don't normally get the opportunity to be alone with him, then try going to his office hours or ask for an appointment in order to ask a question about something from class and doing a little flirting then. The idea is to subtly let him know that you're interested, so that hopefully you'll be able to gauge whether the interest is reciprocated. If he responds positively, then you could try asking him to lunch after a few days. If he agrees then you can move on from there. You see, all of these steps will help you let him know that you lie him, while avoiding the possibility of awkwardness and embarrassment if you're rejected.
I also want to emphasize something really important. It's a well known fact among people who study human behavior (among others) that knowing that someone likes you instantly makes them more attractive. He may not have thought about you that way before, but if he thinks that you're attracted to him then you could be on his mind.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Honey, he doesnt have a lot of choice but to reject you. If he doesn't, he's a fool. Teacher-student relationships are illegal, no matter what age. He could lose his job, and it would be so hard to get another job as a teacher. Depending on the circumstances, he could even get put on some sort of protection database. Imagine getting a job with a criminal record involving students. I understand you like him a lot, but we get so many questions on here asking about these types of relationships. They could never work out without a million tears honey.. You've just got to do your best to get over him, because otherwise, the future is rocky.
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