A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I apologise in advance for the long response but please bear with me. So here's the situation, me and my friend recently met this guy. In our town he is very well know as being quite the eligible bachelor. He is everything a girl could ask for (he comes from a good family, he is intelligent, he comes across as a real gentleman, he is very well off, he really seems like perfection). Anyways we were all hanging out having lunch at a cafe and we bumped into this guy. He ended up joining us, he seemed to have a real connection with my friend, they were really clicking and I could tell she liked him (who wouldn't?) We were all having such a nice time together that we all went back to my friends house where we continued laughing and eating till we fell asleep in the lounge room all together. Mid way through the night I awoke to find that the guys hand was resting on my thigh, at first I thought that it was an accident (we were all laying pretty close) so I didn't move. Within a few minutes though, I felt him move his hand down to my crotch and started to touch me. For a second I froze, my heart was pounding so hard. I didnt want to cause a scene so I just pushed his hand away. A few minutes later he started to rub my hip and he slid his hand down my pants. At this point I was freaking out on the inside. I moved his hand away again. I know I should have been more forceful but I have never been in a situation like that. Everything settled down for a little while and I calmed down, I rolled onto my back and tried to fall back to sleep. The guy then got on top of me and slid his leg between mine. I again froze, part of me wanted to say stop but I didnt. He didn't say a word and neither did I and I guess the only way to describe what happened next was that we had dry sex. I am as virgin as they come, I have never even kissed a guy. And the worst part of everything, is that I enjoyed it. I think that I wasn't more forceful was because I liked what he was doing to me. Now I feel like a slut who betrayed her friend. Ive always saidId never do anything with a friends crush. But I did, and if it happened again Im afraid Id let him do it do me all over again, and probably more.Sorry to write so much but I just feel terrible. I dont know what to do our how to feel. I'd be so embarrassed if this ever got out, I can't talk to anyone about it because this is so out of character for me, usually I'm against anything like this. But I liked it and was silently hoping he would touch me again every time I pushed him away. Im so torn up inside.
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Your hormones were speaking. It feels good to be touched and sometimes our bodies speak louder than our brains.
Since you are new to these sorts of feelings and experiences, now you are feeling the afterthoughts if it was the right thing to do?
While you DID give him permission in a very passive way (he did not take advantage of you, you were concious and could have said something) he was not behaving very gentlemanly.
Learn from the experience and do not repeat it if it makes you feel bad.
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