A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid, is anybody can tell me if i am too emotional or negative thinking, maybe it's only myself who has a problem dealing with everything, i have a hard life since i was young and now im 36 and every problem i have is not easy, problems related to family, past relationship, children, co-worker.. when a friends come and ask me how am i doin, i always open up my problems to the friends i thought were friend, but when the time i start it, they just go and don't bother to listen to me.maybe they just tired of listening to me,and when they go i feel down, i cry i always feel guilty and start blaming my self that it was my fault why they go, because of me, because of me being honest to them what is really goin on to me. when friends came to me and talk about their problem i was very open arms listening to them and prepare to give the better advice i could give. but when i am the one who's needing it they just go. what is the problem with me, pls. anybody can help me....
View related questions:
co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): I think at times our friends let us down, and usually when they don't know what to do or say.
Many times, if your the one who tends to be their shoulder, they find it hard to reverse the roles, and you throw them for six when they need to help you out. It is often, because the friends we choose, have all different purposes. If you consider your range of friends, you will see that all of them tend to have a different offering or purpose in the relationships you have. So if you are needing a shoulder or advice, choose to discuss these difficult things, with the right friend. Not always can friends have what we need at the time. It will not be because they do not care, but more likely that they are out of their debth in knowing what to do.
I think also many times, we hinder ourselves with how we receive advice. Sometimes we have made a silly choice or bad move, our friends at times find it difficult to tell us how they see things from their end.
Think about the times you have felt this way about being dissappointed with you friends when you needed them. Ask yourself if you have actually asked them for help or blurted out all the woes you are going through. Was it all too much for them and do they have the skills, nature and experiance to offer what you need from them.
I have many many friends, very few I would ask advice from and normally the people I would go to are normally fairly well balanced and sorted with their own stuff.
Continue being you. If you are able to help friends, continue. If they are not able to return the favour, try not to see it as turning away, but perhaps not knowing how to help.
All the best. Please do not feel that no-one cares. They do, but people are people with all their flaws!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): Hmmmm... I would have to actually meet your friends to know how they are, but from what you've told me they seem selfish. A friend in need is a friend indeed, they say.Also, I don't know how you open up to people. Maybe you should start with one thing at the time, telling only one thing to one person, so as not to overwhelm them.You seem to be a great woman. I really wish you the best.Ha det bra!
...............................
|
