A
male
age
30-35,
*forde04
writes:I have been getting to know a friend better over the past few months, we have similar interests, we get along quite well and have a good time when we go out together. Considering that I have just resolved issues with my ex-girlfriend it isn't as if I'm attempting to pursue her yet, I merely want to build a functional friendship based on mutual respect and this is the problem. Whenever I message her, it's hit or miss whether she'll respond and there have been a number of occasions now when we've made plans and she's failed to get back to me whilst any conversation that we do have is normally initiated by me. Fundamentally our relationship is sound, but it would be nice if she initiated conversation every so often or suggested going out somewhere - I suppose it would make me feel more valued and whilst I don't wish her ill or anything I do wonder whether it is worth attempting to maintain our 'close' relationship considering the fact that I have to do much of the leg work, and considering I do always have to initiate contact it sometimes feels as if I'm some sort of irritant or annoyance. There is background information in that she suffers from various anxieties and takes medication for this - symptoms and medication similar to those my ex-girlfriend had and perhaps this could be a potential cause of her behaviour. That said my ex never behaved towards anyone in such a manner.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 Some people just don't like to speak on the phone, it's actually more common then I thought.
But if you HAVE to initiate the contact 100% of the time I would back off a little. Next time you try and make plans tell her to call you back with an answer and if she doesn't I would assume she just isn't as invested in you as you are in her.
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