A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I work in an office and there's this man. Let's call him... Joe. So Joe is very high up the chain - senior level and about 10 years older. I still think I'm imagining this because I'm a skinny muslim girl who looks about 19. I don't know why but I've caught him looking and then calmly looking away when I catch him. A couple of times he smiled and continued staring. We have never spoken. I've never given him the opportunity. I then find out he is a family man so I avoid all and any eye contact with him. I don't even look his way but if I do randomly look up anywhere, he's always there. Be it if he is just walking by. I know it's an office and you have to walk by but when I catch him looking, he quickly looks away or jerks his head.I don't want to get involved with him. I have given him no reason to think I'm interested.What is going on in his head? I'm starting to get really stressed out. I know that sound's daft.Please no rude comment's. I'm asking for advice. I don't plan on any interaction with him.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 May 2013):
 Dear SMG: We men are, usually, DOGS..... We look for tender young girls who might put out for us.... and we try to send "signals" to them that we are "interested." ("Interested" means that we want to have sex with them....)
IF we find one who reacts to our obscure "message" .... then we will use her... then cast her aside.... because we KNOW that - if we get found out - we risk a messy and, likely, expensive, divorce from wifey... . AND we get left out in the cold... because the tender young thing will catch on - quickly - that we wanted her only for a sex/plaything.... and SHE will go on...and WIFEY will have gone on.... and, so, WE have to "start over".. as well...
Consider that... and whether or not you want to be a sexual plaything for this creep....
Good luck....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply. The thing is, he looks afraid of me if we pass one another and no one else is around. Like I will go running and screaming. So I'm quite confused. I'll just keep acting like he doesn't exist.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (4 May 2013):
 If you think he's looking then you're probably right. I don't think there's much you can do, though unless he starts openly leering at you or he says something inappropriate. At that point you could talk to your line manager, but unfortunately they probably won't do much/ anything because he because he hasn't stepped over the line into harassment. If he was a young newbie your manager could advise him to cool it, but it's awkward with someone so senior.
This sounds silly but I was once advised on how to put someone off when you're getting unwanted attention: start picking your nose when he's staring at you. I'm not joking. It will make you look unattractive and it might just do the trick. Just make sure no one else catches you doing it ;-)
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