A
female
age
41-50,
*hahla
writes:I used to have my boy friend for a few months. We got along well but he limited our relationship and finally after 3 months being being togther, he asked me politely to stop being a bf and girl friend. I can guess some logical cultural reasons but not sure of the exact reason. Still, this is not very important to me for some reasons. Maybe It could be even better for me. First, He aksed me to be less in working place. Second, he asked me to spend less time and finally, he asked me to be simple friends. And I just want to assure that during all these times, there was no problem between us. There are some logical reasons for not being together and I think he tried to go through every stage and finally, he considered it s not possible. Ok! After he asked me I cried a couple of times,.. and finally, I made my mind do not contact him and stop being weak. (unfortunately we are working at the same office. So every day we see each other, which is more difficult for me). Well, this is around one week which I did not contact him at all like before such as chatting, phone, sms, ... I tried to act as he wanted. He wanted to be a simple friend. Saying hi and ... I did the same thing. But the problem is that for a few days, he was okay with me. But couple of days, he's angry with me. Even he did not say goodbye to me as he used to do every day. In fact, we are not simple friends as well. He told me do not be 0 or 1. Be between them. He told me I can be but you can't. Now, I can but it seems he cant! Mimi, I really dont know what should i do? If i tell him be more kind, he tells me do not stick on me. Now I am behaving as he asked and he is behaving in this manner. For some reasons, which i also agree with not being gf and bf, I don't mind if he comes back or not, but I really don't want to be in a bad climate. If liked him as a friend. But I feel his reactions are more childish and aggressive now. I don't know what will help us .. Could you please give me any advice that how I should overcome this situation? Thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shahla +, writes (8 November 2008):
shahla is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyup. Thank you Emily .. . I was quite happy when i saw ur answer. I needed someone listen to me and care to this situation :)I agree with you opinion by the way . Again today he tried to hurt me in another ay. Without any reaosn he told me he is going to a place,which we used to go every saturday with other friend. While they was no reason he mentions it. And It s funny to say that when he told me lets stop being friend, he said: by the way we r good friends and we continue same habits like going on saturday afternoon to ... with other friends. But today, he wanted to tell me that i m still going with others but you are not included!Well, it hurts me of course but at the same time, i laugh at his childish actions and reactions..I will behave normal and will not loose my temper in front of him but I am quite interested to see what he will do next.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 November 2008):
I think you have to accept this boy wants to have everything his own way.
The fact that you are are being strong is annoying him because he wants you to just do what he says.
Continue to just be civil to him at work but don't be his friend if he wants to be more.
Just let him go and do what he wants and act like a child. He is only going to make himself looking like a fool.
Good Luck!! xx
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