A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:hi everyoneive been seeing a guy for about nearly a year now, last year we went through a few communication problems (i was used to him iniating contact and i never did, which hurt him alot, which we resolved) and the beginning of the year we have gotten a lot more closer, seeing eachother on friday saturday, sunday. and he admitted that he is in love with me, crazy about me, obessed etc.. we also now see each other during the week, sometimes twice a week during the day when i have breaks at college and he comes over at night time when it is a school week. he admits that he likes me so much that he doesnt even see his friends hardly ever now since we hangout at night on the weekend alot. he loves it when i give him attention (he admits). there is a small age gap, iam 20 and and live at home with my parents and go to college. he is 26 and plays in a popular band that tours and lives home alone. he hints that he hates sleeping alone at night but iam not allowed to because of my parents.so we spend as much time together as possible but iam so afraid of appearing clingy for examplelast weekend we saw each other friday morning and night, saturday sunday morning and night. on monday i texted him to see how he was, and then we saw each other today for the whole afternoon. i wont probably see him until the weekend. so i was wondering do i need to give him space? i feel he might be getting bored of me but he hasnt mentioned anything. he broke up with his ex of 6yrs because she got so clingy to the point where she acted as though she couldnt live without him.this is my first relationship and iam honestly admitting iam getting clingy, this weekend iam going to my friends 21st and iam dreading the fact i wont be able to spend time with him! which is horrible but he will get to spend time with his friends too.how do i not come across as overbearing to him? iam afraid of getting into the same situation as last year when i waited for him to text/talk to me and he felt as though i never even liked him. iam also a pretty shy and quiet person and he is outgoing and i dont know whether its okay to text/talk to each other all the time and see each other all the time??is it okay to text him when i dont see him just letting him now im thinking of him or should i wait?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): Initiate contact once every 1-2 days, if he doesn't pickup the phone or reply to your message then don't send another. Don't get mad at him for not replying or him going out with his mates. I really think that if you were being clingy that he would have hinted at it or gotten annoyed. It really is about finding out where his line in the sand is when it comes to what actually constitutes "clingy".
I used to think that my mate would never find someone who could tolerate him as after 5 relationships in a row ended with the girl dumping him because he was too clingy... I'm talking, 52 missed calls in one evening type clingy. But sure enough hes happily married now. Some people can just tolerate clingy behavior more than others.
A
female
reader, Entirely Unique  +, writes (23 March 2010):
 I feel you've answered your own question within your question.You said at the beginning how it was him always contacting you and you not doing so unless he did and this hurt him alot, theres your answer to whether you should contact him.You've got to find a nice happy medium where you do keep up contact with each other when you're apart but not to the point neither of you can breath because its too constant or too much for one of you.I've always been someone that makes sure when I'm with someone and we're apart from each other that I always make contact by text when I wake up and when I go to bed with a few more in the day, the amount depending on how busy our days are, but everyones relationship is different and to some people that might seem too much.If you're worried about too much contact and normally when you're apart its only the odd bit of contact then just try once every other day or every few days making contact so he knows you're thinking of him and go from there.
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