A
female
age
51-59,
*il Star
writes:I Called out someone else's name when making love to my boyfriend.I've recently been dating a guy whose 11 years my junior - I'm 36 and he's 25.Despite the age-gap we get on really well, but I believe that he does have insecurity issues as well as anger issues which he informed me of the first week we began dating.When we go out, we both drink quite a lot. Last week, I drank a lot and don't even remember getting home, but it turned out that while we were making love when we got home, I called out someone else's name.I can't remember whose name I called out, but my lover was furious. This was 6 days ago and he refuses to answer my calls or talk to me.He wont let me try to offer any explanation or apologise.I suspect that maybe he was going to dump me anyway because surely he understands that I didn't even realise what I was doing or saying.Is there anything I can do to convince him this was purely the drink and that I genuinely don't have any desires to be with anyone else? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lil Star +, writes (23 March 2007):
Lil Star is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have written a letter and posted it to him yesterday. This was I can express how much I miss him and let him know that I'm sorry without him having to see or speak to me. As mentioned before we've only been seeing each other a few weeks so if I leave it, say a month, before contacting him, I fear this will be way too late and I would've lost him for good by then.
Thank you both for your advice xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): Hi, Thanks to both of you for your responses. You both make a lot of sense.
Yesterday was the first time I had tried to make contact (6 days after it happened) as I realised he did need to cool off and thought this would be plenty of time, but he cut me off as soon as he heard my voice. We've only been together a few weeks and feel that if I leave it any longer trying to talk to him then it will just be too late.
I'm not sure whether he thinks I've been seeing someone else, or whether he believes that I would prefer to be with someone else. Neither is true and don't know what would be a suitable time to wait....any advice?
Thanks!
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A
female
reader, Cazz  +, writes (22 March 2007):
 Ask yourself what your reactions and feelings would be if the situation is reversed..your boyfriend calling out another woman's name while in bed with you...will you believe him if he says it was just the drink and that he has no desire to be with anyone else?? I doubt that you would...
Understand his anger, give him time and try not to give him anymore reason to think that you are playing him for a fool.
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A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (21 March 2007):
firstly i think any man would be furious if their lover called out another mans name. you say he has a short temper, unfortunantly thats often the case with us young ones, it happened six days ago which really isnt much of a cooling off time, especially if your ringing n trying to contact lots. it will only remind him of you. you need to let him calm down.in time ask to meet him in a mutual place (maybe not a pub as you said neither of you can take drink) and talk things through calmly like adults
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