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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, my husband of four years has a female friend of whom I do not like. I've known her all my life but she was his friend growing up. We just moved back home where she lives and ever since, they go to the clubs together (in which, my friends had seen them together on the dance floor), go to hockey games together, go to the movies together (where he ran to the street corner to get picked up by her, so I wouldn't find out), go shopping together, she has driven our car around, they've talked to eachother, mostly everyday until I put a stop to her, I confronted her about everything and ever since I haven't heard of them being together but that isn't to say it's true, my husband now doesn't live with me. Today, I blew up because he comes here still to see his children and she was the person who dropped him off. I was so angry and still am. It would have been so different if I went with them sometime, or whenever she would call, ask me how I was or how the children were but she didn't. My husband thinks everything they have done is acceptable and seems to be impossible to see what he has done with her something you do not do in a marriage. I do not know if he has cheated on me with her, but get suspicious about it. She is his best friend he says and I scared her off. If anyone can give some advice, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.
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male
reader, tomsvp  +, writes (14 February 2008):
Of course he is cheating. Why could he not do all those things with you rather than her? What is she providing him that he feels he is not getting from you? Male and female, being together that often and usually haveing a good time together---will naturally take in the sexual part too! Don't kid yourself!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2006): I am in a simmilar situation. My husband's best friend is also a female which I have never grown to trust. They share a common interest of motorcycles and began hanging out about 3 yrs ago when she wanted to go for a ride. at first he kept it a secret from me because he thought I would over react if i knew. They would go out at night (he told me it was with the guys) and ride his motorcycle. Well i did over react when i did finally found out what was going on. My husband constantly tells me i have nothing to worry about with her but I still don't feel comfortable with their friendship. She has gotten her own motorcycle which has helped me ease my feelings about them riding together. however this is emotionally very hard for me to accept. He doesn't understand why i get upset when they spend time together like a trip they went to bike week in myrtle beach and stayed together in hotel. Again he swears nothing has or will happen. I want to trust him so much because i truely love him. So I guess I don't have any advice for you but I do understand how much it hurts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2006): What do you mean by he doesn't live with you any more? I think you have a major marrage problem on your hands... Why did he move out?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2006): i dont know i thnk something is going on between the two, first of all he shoulds like he is neglecting you and in replacement being with her. i dont know many male and female friendships that dont have 1 person falling for the other one, mabe he has a thing for her and she is playing naive to it, or maybe its the other way around. i do think their is an attraction and its not just good friends. your husband is very naive,and really i would not waste anymore time with him, show him how hurt you are, talk to him, if he dont listen then confront him with divource papers.
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