A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband's porn viewing has made me feel small recently. He's been looking at pictures of "hot guys", shirtless pictures of men including Gael Garcia Bernal, George Clooney, David Beckham and Russell Brand.It makes me feel like I can't compete with them. I tried to get my husband to have sex with me one night in an attempt to get our sex life back on track, dressed sexily to get his attention the moment he came in from work, but he said to me "You're not muscular, like Gael Garcia Bernal or George Clooney is, sorry, no nookie for you, babe! You need a more toned muscular body to be sexy", and then went straight to the PC, and began looking for more of the same stuff mentioned above.He also has been spending time at the gym whenever he can, more than he really should do.I've tried to have a meaningful discussion, but it always ends up in him saying I'm not muscular enough to be sexy for him.How do I get our relationship back on track and our sex life?? It used to be very passionate, now it's dead in the water and I hate it.He's refused counselling, so that option's been shot down, what do I do?I feel down a lot of the time, apart from with family or in work, I don't really want to divorce him as we've only been married for 4 months now - we were together for 3 years before we got married.All help is appreciated.Vikki (aka Viktoria)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Reeta  +, writes (5 May 2009):
For how long has been doing this?
You've got to have a serious talk with him. It's extremely rude of him to compare your body to men's and not to have sex with you for that reason.. it makes me think that he's not bisexual, but homosexual. And if that's the case, I'm sorry that you had to be the partner that made him realize he isn't really into women (or that he'd like to experience something with men).
So talk to him, ask him what's going on in his head, what is it that he wants, and if he wants to save the relationship. Three years together is a lot of time.. and even if his feelings towards you aren't the same as before, he should care enough about you to be sincere about his behaviour.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): comparing himself? are u kidding? he's trying to get out if he isn't out already!!!! I say file and file now honey!!! he's obviously playing on the wrong team!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): He could have bisexual leanings.But let's look at this the other way, for a second. He may just be comparing himself to these other men.No indication of homosexuality is mentioned in the original post, so he could just be comparing himself, and nothing more.
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