A
female
age
51-59,
*reakingbadfan
writes:Hi,Does anyone have a husband that works from home? Mine started recently and I hate it. He makes me feel like the villain but I adore him. I just don't want to spend every second together. He goes to a room as his office but there is still a feeling that I'm never alone. He says he will stay in his office but comes out often and wants to know what I'm doing. I have to tell him where I'm going. Not that he's demanding at all but it's just inevitable that you do these things when someone is home. I feel like I just want to be alone in my house sometimes. We have 5 kids so any alone time I get is precious. My 15 yr old doesn't get why it bothers me not that I would expect her to. My friends can't stand their husbands home for a few hours but say they don't understand either?? I guess I just want to feel like someone understands. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013): How big is your house? Can you make your own "woman cave " to disappear into and shut the door? If he is upstairs and you be downstairs?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 August 2013):
 I understand.
I took 3 hours off of work yesterday to go home and have the house to myself and get some chores done without him being there...
even when he's home and asleep I am not alone.
can you go out for a few hours every work day? Maybe to the library...or take a class or something?
or set guidelines.... have a lunch date a few days a week to touch base but other than that tell him you have a job too (running your home) and he has to respect that.
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female
reader, Breakingbadfan +, writes (29 August 2013):
Breakingbadfan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I'm a sahm now. I'm a nurse but when I go back to work it will be night shift so we will still be home together. Our whole marriage I've had alone time even before kids when I worked full time. I never realized how important it is til I lost it. If his job keeps him busy then it's fine but the days where it doesn't he doesn't know what to do with himself. I feel like this is 25 yrs too soon. Now I know why my mom worked full time when my dad retired. I would have loved it when my kids were little. Now that I don't need him home there he is! I have my good days and bad days. I can't imagine him ever wanting to work a regular job after this. I hope that at some point he travels a little or something. Not excited for this to be forever.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2013): I work out of the home and in between the work I am doing a load of laundry or getting supper made before he gets home.He workplace is not too far from our home so he will pop in from time to time and he will see me at the computer in our office and ask why I am not in my work space, I have another room to do my other work. He will ask what am I doing then. Or in the morning he will ask what I have planned for the day. It seems if I am not in the other room he assumes I am goofing off or thinks I am on Facebook. It gets SO irritating. I feel I shouldn't have to explain my time to him at all.It's a tough balance working out of the home and seeing the chores pile up. I think I need a housekeeper to make it all work.I can only imagine when he retires what it will be like. Weekends with him are hard enough and I can't wait for him to get back into work on Monday and out of my hair.I feel like I am being monitored like a child which is not good in my book.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2013): I know exactly how you feel. I'm living the exact same nightmare. It's TORTURE!!!!!!! I feel like I'm being punished. * ugh vomit *
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 August 2013):
If you live in an urban area he could get a work studio/loft. It'll cost you a little, but it's worth it for your sanity.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 August 2013):
 He may be feeling cut off and is questioning you because he just needs a reason to talk to you. He may be a control freak and now that he's home it's all playing out.
Tell him simply, 'babe, we have 5 kids. I am an on-call mommy. I need my alone time. You're a great guy and I love you to pieces. Now let me have my alone time and I promise that the other 22 hours of the day, you will have my complete attention." Can you do that? If not, why not?
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (28 August 2013):
 There’ll be a time of adjusting for both of you if this has happened recently… In my present situation my man is out injured from work, so there’ll be a period of time before he’s 100% well. Meanwhile he’s office is in the lounge room watching the idiot box – TV. It drives me nuts that someone can waste a whole 16 hours a day numbing their brain!
Still the scenario is similar to yours; he’s at home and my precious time is disrupted as his injuries do not call for me to nurse him, otherwise I’d be more than happy to care for my sweetheart. When it comes to retirement years 24/7, I’ll be prepared.
The thing is we are the villains because they have disrupted our routine somewhat, our precious alone time, our sanity to function on an even keel to run the household etc. Now that they’re in our space it’s like an invasion of your privacy or sanctuary, for where else are you to escape when you’re generally at home and they’re out of the house working?
Here I have learnt to adjust by continuing to go about my daily routine… If it interferes with his (couch) time I simply remind him; sweetheart you’re not normally at home at this hour for me to unwind or go out without notify anybody about my actions etc... Of course the courtesy of saying where you’re going always applies as it’s a case of manners.
After awhile there’ll be a new routine established where you both know and accept each other’s routine and movements without being so inquisitive. For me, now that my man is home he can make (our) lunch, tend to the household maintenance and wish he was back out at work :)
Take Care – Caring Aunty A
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 August 2013):
 Ditto with hubby retiring and being home 24/7.. Giving me tips on how to do laundry and stuff.. I love the man but OH it's annoying.
Thankfully school starts up next week and I start volunteering, so at least one of us get out of the house.
One thing though I AM glad to have him around a lot more (he worked 70-80 hour weeks before) it's just an adjustment for us both.
Do YOU work from home too? Or are you a SAHM?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 August 2013):
 I hear ya sister. My husband has recently retired and I'm be doing the same in a two years. I truly wonder what it's going to be like being with each other 24/7. I guess I'll find out...
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