A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband works as a radio presenter, and in the radio industry as well. For the past few weeks he's been spending far too much time at work well past working hours.It's not like he's been working for a promotion or anything, as he's been promoted very high up the corporate ladder.Despite being promoted at work, he's never stressed at all, and seems happier and happier (he was always happy to begin with), and he's got even more money.When we met, he was a producer, earning basic wages, now he's earning large amounts as a presenter for this major group who owns stations in the North of England and Scotland.He works at stations in major cities in the UK (below is an example list!)I barely see him due to his work, and he's sometimes on-air at least 2-3 times a day, in one day he did the following shows (all UK time):Weekdays1am-6am Overnight (Sheffield)10am-2pm Mid-Morning (Manchester) 7pm-10pm Evening Show (Leeds)Saturday6am-10am Saturday Morning (Sheffield)2pm-6pm Saturday Afternoon (Manchester)Sunday2am-6am Overnight (Sheffield)10am-1pm Sunday Morning (Manchester)He does travel a fair bit for his work, taking on extra shows even when not needed.It's not like he's in it for the money, as he earns a large amount of money from his employment.I'm thankful he's not having an affair instead.However, I've tried to speak to his boss about getting him less shifts so I can spend more time with him, but he won't speak to me, on the one occasion he did he said "our employees shifts aren't your thing, f*** off! Your husband's a great guy, but I'm not giving you any details on what he does!": and on the one night when my husband when my husband wasn't doing multiple shows, I tried to impress him with sexy lingerie and a romantic evening, but he just went to his office and began doing even more work. I felt so upset and disappointed.I tried to find out why he's taking on so much work, as it's obviously not for the money, but he refused to discuss it, saying it's none of my business. I want to understand, but he's having none of it.Our life used to be good, but since he got promoted, our social and sex life has gone.Anyone else ever been in my situation? and how did you deal with it?please help me, Katrina
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affair, at work, money, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 Work seems to consumed all his energies and his disinterest/desire for sex with you has waned is a red flag.
Men with plenty of money to burn is a target of other girls who are like the piranhas. He could be having an affair behind your back.
Do you value money and material comforts more than your family ?
http://laura1318.wordpress.com/2008/12/23/do-you-value-money-and-material-comforts-more-than-your-family/
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (8 March 2010):
Life is about balance . If someone is giving 90% of their time to work and only 10% to the family , there will be no harmony,peace and tranquility in the home.
Work and family life are both important. If one suffers, the other will suffer too. A person who works most of the time is called a workaholic . His devotion to work will result in the neglect of other areas of his life.
It is not easy to change his course and many have found out the hard way . The only way to change his course is to leave him for someone else .
If you are unhappy and have given your very best and you are still being ignored or your words has no effects on him, then the only course left for you is to seek a divorce and find someone who would love you more.
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A
female
reader, nikacherie  +, writes (8 March 2010):
This is my first time on here. I have issues of my own of course(duh) and read this and it hit home a tad. I don't have an answer for Katrina but I certainly feel for her. I believe that either work is all he needs, maybe he has EDD (mine does)or he's getting satisfaction somewhere else. I don't know why we put up with what we do; I guess we could use the pathetic excuse of "I love him" but I think it's just denial-because they obviously don't or can't express or respond how we need them to. Anyway. I'm just sort of putting my feelers out to see what one of these forums is like. Katrina, I hope you figure things out as I'm sure you desire more for your life. I do know that money can't only comfort us so long and it sure doesn't take the place of true intimacy which we are both obviously lacking in our relationships.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): Which radio presenter are we talking about?? I can't work out who it is...
I've no advice to give about this one... pretty much stumped here!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 March 2009):
You've pretty much named him here so it's good to know when I listen to your hubbie that his wife is happy to shame him online. Anyone in the UK would be able to work out who you are talking about and I think you've done that on purpose.
Also, I can't think of a single station I know that still has live shows between 0100 and 0600. Why doesn't he just voice track them and come home?
I do not believe that you are as white as you make out. His boss would not just talk to you like that out of the blue unless he thought you deserved it.
You mention the fact he's on a LOT of money an awful lot and I wonder what is it that you most like about him... his fame and cash, or him himself.
The only way you can sort this out is by confronting him in a calm way and telling him you need to talk about what is wrong in your marriage. What have you both done wrong and how can you fix it.
It might help if you go to a marriage counsellor so you can talk openly and calmly about what each of you has done wrong with out the other getting defensive.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): Gina is right! Something isn't right! I heard those same bells all the way here in Phoenix Arizona! It was totally out of line to tell you it's none of your business.
I believe he is attempting to live two separate lives, but is failing miserably on your end! You have every right to know what is going on. This is your life too! I wouldn't go to his employer though. As a matter of fact, by saying what he did and telling you to f**k-off. He practically told you something is going on! I know you don't want to believe this, but when a man comes home to sexy lingirie, and obvious plans for a romantic evening, if he loves you, he will find the energy to respond. To just go into his office was clear rejection, and I am sorry for the pain it caused you...but Honey, open your eyes...something is going on! Unless you can survive on the good life of plenty of money, but no love, I would think about standing up for yourself and making a change...or atleast threatening to do so, to see his reaction. Sometimes people are too cowardice to actually end a relationship, so they drive the other person away. Perhaps this is what he is doing! Maybe you could give him a taste of his own medicine, go out with friends more. Have some fun and let him know you are not going to sit home and wait when he has the audacity to tell you his actions are none of your business!
I know this hurts you, but don't let him make a fool of you. You need to take control of your life! The empowerment will make you a stronger person!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): Gina,
he wasn't on air last night, so I did get a chance to speak to him over dinner.
He said there wasn't anyone involved, he simply loved his job and always had done - and is willing to take on shifts at any station in the group. He said all shows he does are live, no "voicetracking" (pre-recorded!)
I spoke to his boss because I was concerned about him getting burnout eventually, not to pry into his work.
Katrina
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