A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, everyone. I'm a married woman of 6 years. I love my husband with every fiber of my being. And would do anything to make him happy.Among these things are oral sex. I love to make him happy and keep him satisfied. But I can't seem to want to perform oral on him anymore. He told me, before we got married, that if I grew my hair out(head hair lol), that he would return the favor and perform oral on me. Yep, you guessed it. Hasn't happened yet. Not even once. i'm very clean down there, and I keep very well groomed, often hairless. He's told me that he's done it for one other person before. And he wasn't even married to them. I"ve asked him about it, but he tells me to wait and let him want to. But that just makes it sound like he just doesn't want to. I'm his wife, why wouldn't he want to.well, now I find that I no longer have the desire to do that for him anymore. It seems to feel so wrong to me. can someone give me advice as to what to do? I want to. But not if he's going to be so selfish.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): I have the same problem but after 20 odd years of marriage! At the start it was reasonably regular, not as often as Id like but beggars cant be choosers lol.Then he had a cyber affair and since then he doesnt do it. Ive asked him if its because he just doesnt want to but he says he loves it, just forgets. How is this possible? Im thinking of getting out, it typifies his selfishness to our whole relatinship and Id rather him be honest if its that he doesnt wanrt to do it
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): Agreed, but where does it go from there? You will grow to resent each other, and the relationship will become a downward spiral. How can you fix the problem so he wants you and your love grows? Counseling. Do it...trust me.
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A
female
reader, LustyLisa +, writes (15 September 2010):
I agree with the others. it's down right wrong to accept sexual favors that he himself is not willing to reciprocate. I would sit him down and calmly explain to him that you've always enjoyed performing oral sex on him but in recent times you've grown resentful over his lack of willingness to please you in the same manner to the point you no longer like pleasing him that way. And, until there is some reciprocation that includes equally bestowed and joyfully given oral sex for you, there will be no more oral sex for him.Now, everyone has the right to participate or decline anything they are not comfortable with or are oppossed to. You may need to prepare yourself for the possibilty that he'd rather do without oral sex himself than return the favor. If he's that oppossed, he shouldn't feel forced, but he should make you feel obligated to continue to give him oral either.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 September 2010):
 Agreed, tit for tat.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (15 September 2010):
 He just doesn't want to, period. It's not right of him to lead you to believe otherwise, but unfortunately, he did.
There's an easy solution to this: stop giving him oral sex. Why should you be obligated to do so while he's not willing to return the favour? He has to realize you have needs, too.
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