A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just found an email of my husband's ex thanking him for remembering her birthday and that he made her laugh.I've always felt that he stills has feelings for her and that he always remembers her for any insignificant reason.Am I crazy for thinking this is wrong and that if he keeps contact is because he still has feelings for her?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): hello, You may be wrong about him having feelings for her. If she is an ex, then she is so for a reason. Also, he married you which suggests that he loves you and was willing to commit to you fully. However, having contact with an ex girlfriend is inappropriate, ESPECIALLY being a married man. Nothing sordid may be occuring now, but bear in mind that the two of them once had chemistry and were attracted to one another. The right conditions were there for them to get together in the first instance. Him maintaining contact increases the chance of this happening again. IF one day the both of you are experiencing a rough patch in the marriage, he may reminisce about better times with his ex and if he still has contact then it wont be out of the realms of possibilty that something may happen between them. Talk to your husband, tell him how you feel. Ask him gently not to have contact with her. This is not such a hard request for a wife to make.
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Would you want to be married to a man who is capable of completely cutting off all feeling for someone who, at one time (not now), was very important to him? Obviously he needs to keep it within appropriate limits but I think it displays emotional strength and maturity that he is able to remain on good terms with his ex.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Ask him, don't be aggressive in your tone of voice, be sympathetic because he's more likely to give you an honest answer. X
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