A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my husband tryed to cheat on me with my best friend we have been married 5 years and have a 2 year old son. my husband and my best friend was drunk she went to bed and woke up next to my husband naked and trying to get it on with her she kicked him out. do i forgive him and how can i look my friend in the eye again
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): He needs to say sorry and make some effort. You need to tell him how you feel. Was this pure selfishness or is he not happy with some aspect of your relationship?
This happened to me several times when the husband of a friend of mine kept hitting on me. She told me that he was very fond of me. He would follow me into other rooms when drunk and tell me he wanted my body. It gave me the creeps and there is no sense of satisfaction. It could happen to you too, some friend's husband could try to grope you. Not nice. Life. He said if she ever got run over by a bus he would like to be with me. Horrible. I don't know how she did it but she stayed friends with me for years. She knew I would never do anything about it. I don't know how she got the strength. I really think you need to have him say sorry with absolute conviction, not grudgingly. You need time but he has to step up to the mark. You did not ask for this and he has the key to help you if he loves you enough.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): Like I said, staying her friend is the least you could do for her. I'm sure she feels terrible about drawing that attention from your husband. I think she sounds like a great friend and you should tell her how much it means to you that she told you about it. :) That is, if that's how you feel about it.
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female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (21 January 2008):
 Actually i know of someone else this happened to recently, only difference is that the best friend enjoyed the attention a little too much. Don't know how far it went as i have only heard this second hand and i know he was drunk. (Apparently he loses his inhibitions when totally drunk). The last i heard was the friend was chucked out, what makes it worse is the wife is pregnant with their 2nd child. I think that the wife has given him another chance, apparently he said he did it for a joke!! (some joke) I guess you can give him a second chance if he was drunk. Did he think it was you? was it a mistake? these are things you need to ask yourself and him. However if he does anything like this again you need to show him the door. I hope you can sort things out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): Well at least your best friend had the decency to kick out your husband! She obviously values & respects your friendship a lot more than your husband!!!
Unlike my so called best friend who grabbed the opportunity with both hands when she got together with my then fiance!!!! I gave them both one last chance and sure enough 2 months down the line same thing again so Packed my bags, walked out and have never looked back since!
In my book if they do it once, who's to say they won't do it again? You may forgive but will you forget what has happened? Its a toughc all but I wish you all the best x
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 January 2008):
 It is not your fault. You should talk to your friend and find out how she feels. Maybe, she will not blame you for it.
This thing sometimes happens. He thought it was you as he was in a drunken stupor. Whether he did it intentionally or mistaken , we don't know.But you should give him the benefits of doubt. You should know his character .
You need to talk to him and then forgive him and move on with your life. Treat it as a bad dream.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): I say forgive.
Everyone deserves a second chance. But don't forget, one chance is all they get.
If it happens again, boot him.
Flynn 24
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female
reader, Variety +, writes (21 January 2008):
 Yes you can be friends with your friend. She did the right thing by saying no to him. She had no party to this at all.
Your husband is a rather different matter. You either split up (with all the heartbreak that entails) or you talk about it and then move on. If you decide to give him another chance then you need to really do that. It can't be that every time you have a fight with him you bring up this experience.
Its a really hard choice and my heart goes out to you. You do need to talk to him about this though.
Hope this helps. Message me if you want to ask about anything. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): Whether the relationship can survive is up to both of you, but the making up and effort must come from him. There is a large amount of work to be done here. If it were me I don’t think I could possibly imagine continuing on and I would ask him to move out for a while until I was convinced that it would not happen again and that any remorse was genuine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis only happened on saturday night he is sleeping in our sons room. we have not talked about it. We have not looked at each other what do i do?Can i still be friend with my best friend
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): Kudos to your friend! Good for her, and good for you! Thank her for telling you and for being such a good friend as to say no to him and kick him out. Obviously if he was this untrustworthy when he was drunk this time, it's always a possibility it will happen again. It's really you choice how to handle him in this situation. I personally would never be able to trust him drinking again, so therefore would not continue the relationship. Like I said, it's in your hands. Surely he realizes that he's at your mercy.
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