A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have A little awkward situation and need your advice on it.We went out with with 2 couples and a single friend out to a club on Friday nite for women's day. We live in US but everyone came originally from Eastern Europe so we still celebrate. First we went to one club and everyone paid for themselves.But then we desided to go to a fancy night club where we can have hookas. When we arrived there was a huge line, this club seemed to be really young. Because probably we are in our 30-40s, we were approached immediately by one of the girls who works there and she asked us if want VIP service which means we have to buy at least one bottle of something. At first we said no, as we already had couple drinks at another place, and my husband said he is not drinking anymore as he had to drive. But then when a girl explained to us that we still need to pay $15 for entrance and stay in line who knows how long, and also every drink is $15 also, she said its better for us or the same money wise just to have a table and order that bottle. We discussed it with everyone, and everyone agreed and we were led in right away. We had a great time. We ordered a bottle of least expensive bottle on a menu, I think it was vodka. We had hoooka, service was excellent, everyone had fun. As I said before my husband didn't drink, I had 2 drinks.When it was time to pay, and the club had my husbands credit card, we asked for 2 other cards and a single guy that was with us said that he ll pay us later and put his share on our card.But the girl that was serving us said that she can't split the bill, and she said she either needs cash or she needs to charge all on one card. No one had cash, and because she already had my husbands card, she charged the whole thing there.We know these people for a while and never had any problems with them in the past. One of the girls called me next day and asked how we got home and also about how much they owe us. I said it came to $42 per person. She goes, o, my god I only had 1 drink and we have to pay for it $84? I said that I really don't know how to help her, as I myself had only 2 drinks and this what it came to. She said, but my husband didn't drink at all. I told her that my husband didn't drink also, and what does it matter anyway, we agreed all on a service, in my opinion it doesn't really matter at that point who drinks how much.I don't realy know who had more drinks or less. Also I told her that it's just one bottle, not that many drinks can come out of that bottle anyway, and why to even mention it?Another woman mentioned when vodka arrived, why we didn't order whiskey. I told her that whiskey is even more, and most people don't drink it, but if she wants to have whiskey she is welcome to order it for herself. She can't speak English very well, she always asks to translate menu for her, but that evening because it was so noisy there and no one including me wanted to be bothered with explaining to her the menu, we just ordered without consulting with her, and then after 20 minutes she asks how come it wasn't whiskey.At the end of that conversation the next day, my friend had no objections to the bill, she just said, I will get money to you. The thing is that we don't see each other very often, may be once every month or two. The same with another friend. Single guy we see often, once a week, he actually called the next day and invited us for lunch, but we couldn't make it.The woman who wanted whiskey lives across the street from me, like literally 2 minutes walk, the other one who called lives good half an hour drive from us. The first woman's daughter babysat the second woman's children previous night and stayed over. Knowing that at one point two of them will meet that day to pick up or drop off a girl, I suggested for the one who lives far just to give money to a friend who lives close, so we wouldn't have to wait to be paid back for another 2 months. she murmured something, I couldn't really distinguish what.Well , I didn't mean for this story to be that long, but couldn't come up with shorter version. Today is Tuesday I never heard anything from them. At this point I get a little pissed. It's been 2 full days since our outing, my husband paid 300$ and none of them even made an attempt to pay us back. At this point I m not even sure that a whiskey friend knows that they didn't pay. As I said before I never had any problems with both couples before, and both of them were prompt paying back in situations like that. I told my husband that I don't mind calling at least the one who is close by and remind her about money. But he thinks it's highly innapropriate I don't understand why. First of all I doubt more and more that she knows what happened that night, and her husband had quite a few he simply cant remember. I even asked my husband, so if they never pay us back, you would just let it go? He said he doesn't know, but thinks that we should Not remind them. What is your opinion on that?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): You were wright , one of them the far away friend called and asked me if she can transfer money to my account, another one still didn't call, but the first one said she knows, so there is no confusion. Thank you all again
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (12 March 2013):
 i'm somewhat with your husband. i don't ever like to remind people they owe me money. they know they do. they didn't forget. they'll most likely give it back on their own time. it is somewhat rude of them not to do it immediately, but i'm sure they will make a point to do so soon.
your friend that made the comment about how much it cost and seemed shocked wasn't really in the wrong. she was just shocked at the price, just like you were. i don't think she was mad at you for expecting to be paid back. i just think she was shocked at how high the price was. rightfully so! lol. it was extremely pricy.
if i were you, i'd give it a couple of weeks. i wouldn't say anything just yet. after that, i'd make a couple of calls and explain that bills need to be paid and you're hurting on money and that the sooner you could be paid back, the better. but that's just me. i'm a very polite person. i have plenty of friends, on the other hand, who would flat out send a text with the exact amount due and say "have it to me by such and such day." everyone has their own ways of going about things.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): Thank you all! I ll wait till the end f the week, and will call them. We do it also sometimes, we pay , then they pay, but not when it's so much. Ussualy we meet up with friends just for drinks, and no one ever counts, but not when it's so much money and we all agreed on that
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 March 2013):
 you all went out
you all agreed to split the cost
everyone has to pay their fair share
those that live close can give you cash or hand you a check
those that live farther can mail you a check or if you all have paypal they can transfer the money to your paypal account.
we go out with friends and sometimes one couple covers the bill and the next time the other couple does. I do this with girlfriends I regularly go out with as well.
I would email everyone and say "Hey that was an expensive (but fun) night, oh well live and learn... btw it was $300 dollars and comes to $42 per person that we laid out for the group, if you could have the money to me by 03/30/13 I would really appreciate it. If there is a problem with that date, call me and we can work something out"
those that don't make arrangements, you never front money for again and the next time you see them, remind them that it's THEIR TURN to pick up the tab.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (12 March 2013):
 The bottom line here is that you all went out and you all agreed to pay and as it was your husband who paid, it is up to you and he to go ask for your money. There is no right or wrong way to do it, they owe you, they need to pay!
Etiquette would suggest that they put their hand in their pocket and give the money to you without question but when they KNOW how much they owe and haven't given you a dime, you need to call - and not feel bad about it, at all!!
I am sure if the tables were turned, they would call you in a heart beat! This isn't 5 bucks you're out, its a couple hundred and that is NOT fair at all!
I would call around and let everyone know that no one has paid back a dime and that you really didn't have that money to spare and need it asap. Don't sugar coat it too much else they will drag this out.
If they don't eventually put their hand in their pockets, they're not worthy of your friendship!
Many a good friendship was ruined by money and this is the kind of reason why!
If you really want to, you could suggest they give a little to you at a time in case they perhaps can't afford to give it to you all at once, but either way, this should be a non issue and they should pay.
I really hope they come through for you! Keep us posted!
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