A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My husband has come to take me to lunch at work, if I couldn't go he would ask one of the the other girls to go, someone always went with him. Thinking about it now it was mostly the same person. I feel this was a bit off. We were only a few minutes from home, or I think he should have gone and found one of the guys to go to lunch with. What do you think - just forget it? Thanks for any in put you have.
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (22 August 2009):
 I like what sugarbuns had to say and one more thing I would like to say on the subject: I don't think this is unimportant and you should not either. Whatever bothers you is important, or more exactly the fact you are bothered. So don't say, like you said: "Should I forget it?". I would only mind my steps and not be all spiky about it. He may not realise how you feel especially if he is used to having many female friends and/or this is generally approved in his circle of friends, etc. This is why I would prefer to test a more diplomatic approach for a start. But if the "joke" becomes crude then of course you should not allow it to be made a fool if you see that is where this situation is heading. All the best.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (22 August 2009):
 Tell him if he comes to the office to have lunch with you, then he shouldn't be taking another woman to lunch just because you're busy. What happens when you have to travel for business and are gone over night? 'Well, you weren't avaiable for sex tonight, but Denise in Accounting sure was!' His behavior is strange to say the least and you should tell him how you feel, then if he loves you, he should not do that anymore.
...............................
A
female
reader, bitterblue +, writes (22 August 2009):
You know when you are not safe? When he starts pouring out private thoughts to the other woman and conversations at home are less needed, less juicy. To avoid this make sure you are not neglecting his emotional needs, the need to be listened to, to be made feel confident and so on. It is true as the other poster says, that he should ask if this is OK with you (you might as well playfully suggest it) but don't make him look like the evil guy if he hasn't. Instead you will seem like an ogre and quarrelsome. Make more time for lunch with him and especially make time to ask him about his day and to be very interested in his persona. That is what you should do, not keeping him in a tight leash. You could also say that people at work can start gossiping but don't make it seem that you in fact distrust him if you have no other reasons for this.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your thoughts. You always make me feel better
and give me something to think about. Again thank you all.
...............................
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (22 August 2009):
 If you dont feel comfortable with the fact that your husbands spends 1 hour of his lunch with your female colleagues then tell him!
a good marriage is based on communication and trust.
if you dont tell him of your insecurities it wont help the both of you since you wont have a chance to work at maintaining a healthy relationship.
I'm sure if he loves you he will be understanding and considerate of how you feel about this subject.
Good luck!
...............................
|
