| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: how do i know if my husband is lying? i found out that he has been going to dating web sites and trying to find a girl. when i confronted him he said that him and his friend were just doing it for fun and games. I went to his profile and the title for it was fun and games. what should i do, what should i say to him? did he title it like that to be sure to cover his a**? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2005): hmmmm....As a male I think doing this kind of thing means only one thing - he is looking elseware! I would not panic just yet as he has not "found" anyone - but if you let it persist you run the chance of him having an affair. I do not know what your marriage life is like, but I would confront him over it - if he resists, then do the following: 1. Get one of your trust friends (not known by your hubby) to log on and chat to him. 2. Have your friend be flirty and pushy online (sounds hard, but you need to see if he will be faithful to what you guys have built first!) 3. Have your friend ask them to meet for "a night of fun" at some location (don't panic, there is a plan to this!) 4. Be at the place with your friend - and let him have a peice of your mind! - it will shock him, but it will make him realise what he has done! - and it will let you know if you can trust him. This will take time, and you have to make sure that you play the part of the loving wife during the days / weeks he is "chating" with your freind online. It might sound nasty, but its a sure way to know if you have a lasting, and trusting relationship. if you don't have a friend you can trust, you can always go out for the evening some nights to a cyber cafe and log in by yourself and "chat" to your husband online (just don't let him know its you)
A
female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (11 December 2005):
 Damn right he did...
Fun and games my eye...Yank the plug from the wall, is what I say... cut the plug from the cord, if that did'nt work...Desperate Times calls for desperate measures... put a stop to this right now, bladdy hell girl, how would HE like it if YOU did what he is doing?
And as for his friend ... Is he a single guy? If not, does HIS wife know what he is up to? If he is in fact single, I think he is probably the instigator in this, misleading your husband.I would check that out, if I were you, he needs a good rapping over the knuckles too.
Take Care.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2005): I am not going to 'beat around the bush' here, dear. Your husband is looking for some fun on the side. This is not a funny nor is it a trivial matter. It needs to be taken seriously. Your husband is planning to get out on the internet to troll for women and look for sexual excitement be it cybersex or real-life. Both possibilities are now fast becoming a potential disaster for your marriage". It will happen if this situation isn't gotten under control..now.
A few stats I found..43 percent of internet users have engaged in some form of virtual humping. Of marrieds who have an online relationships, 31 percent eventually meet their virtual paramour in real life. So be aware. In a nushell, he is not "partnered." right now...only you are. I consider this a very serious problem and if he were my husband I would not permit this sort of thing in my marriage. I would quickly deal with this issue with him...because it isn't going to get any better and it could get a lot worse. Believe me, if your marriage is important to you, this will destroy it, if it gets out of hand and the core foundation of trust will be shattered. I strongly recommend you get some marriage counseling and some good ideas on how to tackle this problem and nip it in the bud. If you've always thought your marriage was rock solid, realize it isn't because this is a wake-up call. I believe in rebuilding a marriage but the commitment, the hard work and efforts must come from within him, as well. It's a team effort. I can't tell you what to say to him..speak from your heart-let him know what he's doing is hurting you and his family (if you have children). Don't threaten him with ultimatums..just be clear and strong with him. You are living in this marriage-you know him best-be strong-retain your self-respect and lay some tough boundries. I wish you the best of luck, dear...my heart goes out to you and I'm sorry. Take care
Hugs,
Irish
...............................
|
