A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have lived in our house for 12 years. It’s a small 2 bedroom home. This was the first house we bought together and always agreed it would be a starter home and we’d eventually upsize when we could afford it. Not going to lie it was a stressful period for both of us! Just before the pandemic hit we were looking to move but unfortunately our plans were put on hold . At the same time we both ended up working from home so we had to convert 1 of our spare bedrooms in to an office for my husband, which after putting in a desk and chair left very little room for any other furniture and I have to work on the dining room table in our living room which isn’t comfortable. We have outgrown our home. I need a proper office and We have no room for guests to stay when they come over- we both have friends and family who live in different cities and countries who visit often. We also want to get some pets - cat, dog etc… but realistically are unable to do so due to lack of space.My husband however is now reluctant to move as he’s become comfortable in our area and made some good friends with our neighbors, which they often go to the local pub and play darts, so he doesn’t want the hassle of moving and starting over again as he enjoys his social life and still remembers how stressful it was last time. Also his brother moved house last year and has had continuous problems with their neighbors so my husband is worried about us ending up with difficult neighbors too. We’ve looked at options to extend but there’s not much room so essentially we’d just be wasting alot of money for little extra space. It’s a shame as we love the area but not the house. I’m frustrated with him as we have the money for a bigger house. We’ve looked around our area and even signed up to various estate agents to let us know if anything becomes available, for bigger houses around our area but we were told that it’s rare houses go up for sale. He also complains at the lack of space but is unwilling to do anything about it. I appreciate my husbands concerns but I feel it’s unfair to continue living as we are How can we compromise? I’m starting to feel claustrophobic.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2024): How about you get the room to work in and he starts working on the dining room table? (same thing happened to me during the pandemics)
I'm serious. Make HIM feel what you feel.
Have you tried to find a house nearby?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2024): As you live in the area, could you try and find an off market property, e.g. by putting a notice up in local shops and putting flyers through doors of houses you might be interested in buying? This would also save the seller having to pay estate agents fees, which might also incentivise them to sell. Also, tell people you are interested in moving in the local area, as word might get around. You could also put an add in a local newsletter or paper.
Also, you have to realise that selling can take a long time. If you're keen to move, I'd suggest getting your house on the market now as it could take you a long time to find a buyer (or replacement buyer if they pull out part way through). If the perfect house comes on the market, you will need a buyer for your house lined up so you can move quickly. The early spring is also the best time of year to put your house up for sale, so you will want to be speaking with agents in the next couple of months to get things moving.
If you have a garage or loft, these could be converted into an office. Alternatively, if your property has a large enough garden, could you build a home office in the garden? You can buy prefabricated and insulated home office pods/sheds. Or you may be able to rent a desk space in a communal office somewhere in a nearby town or city? Or consider using a local library as a workspace?
An even cheaper alternative is to buy/build a bureau desk (essentially a desk in a cupboard) that you can close off at the end of the day.
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